At The Car Wash

Identifying people by something they do (or don’t do) is just one of those things that people tend to do, and I’m no different. Instead of their names, I could identify close friends as Wrestling Fan, Mini Driver, World of Warcraft Player, Quiet Guy, and Dude That Enjoys Killing People In Videogames Just A Little Too Much. You know who you are.

One unfortunate habit that I have acquired is that I do not wash my car on a regular basis. When your friends constantly see the layers of dust covering your vehicle, you soon become known as “Guy Who Never Washes His Car.” This has been my moniker for years back home, however I didn’t realize that it had followed me up to my new home until last Saturday.

A friend of mine was coming over to visit for the first time, and I provided directions. The last instruction being: “Look for my red Dodge Neon.” I figured this was simple enough, at least in the first month of living there, I had never seen another red Dodge Neon. The apartment was stuffy, so I decided to open the balcony door to let some air in while I did some vacuuming.

As I am doing this, I look outside and see my friend parking his truck just outside of the building. Great, I think, he’ll be knocking on the door pretty soon. I continue cleaning but hear no knock on the door. “Why hasn’t he knocked yet?” I wonder. I check outside and see the truck is no longer there. As I am pondering this turn of events, my cell phone rings, its my friend: “Hey, did you wash your car?” he asks, to which I reply yes.

I then asked if he had parked a few minutes earlier. He said yes, but he had decided that apparently the Neon was SO clean he assumed it was not mine and kept on looking for a red “covered in dirt” Neon which he did not find. Jerk.

It is now official, I am now “Guy Who Never Washes His Car.” Again.


One of my (many) quirks is that I try to leave things in the same location so that I can easily find them. My keys are always in the same place on top of the small bookshelf in my room, the remote controls are always on top of the coffee table, and the diet soda is always on the bottom shelf of the refrigerator.

Ninety-nine times out of a hundred this works very well. However, there is that one time every so often where I put something in a DIFFERENT place and it completely blows my mind. I once misplaced my cell phone and spent a good half-hour searching for it before I noticed it sitting on top of the television…in the living room…its also a larger phone so I definitely should have noticed it earlier.

I decide to bake some oatmeal-raisin cookies out of the misguided notion that they are somehow not AS bad for me as store-bought (but hey, who knows, maybe they are, right? RIGHT??). After washing the dishes and cleaning the kitchen, I check my ingredients; flour, sugar, oatmeal, yadda, yadda, yadda. I appear to have enough of everything but a quick peek in the refrigerator reveals there is no butter! Crap. So off to the store I go for a box of butter.

Much to my disappointment, the HEB is completely OUT of unsalted butter. I am left scratching my head searching for some logical reason everyone should be baking today. I suppose everyone else who had today off in observance of Martin Luther King Day got the urge to do some baking. I’ve never used salted butter before, and for fear of tampering with my recipe, I decide to punt and use margarine. I guess its not really ‘punting’ though; Blue Bonnet did the job just as well before I started making fat cash and started using the Good Stuff.

I pick up a few other things I need and go home to fire up the oven and get to work. All goes well until I notice that burnt-cookie smell. It turns out the oven was set too high: 400 degrees instead of 350. Well, nuts. Fortunately, the cookies aren’t set-the-smoke-alarm-off burnt, the raisins on the bottom just got a little crispy. They are certainly edible, but as I do not wish to sully my reputation as a baker, those will not be leaving the apartment.

I turn down the oven and the second batch comes out perfect. I clean up the kitchen and go to the refrigerator to grab a soda. I had placed the now half-empty box of margarine on the bottom shelf and think to myself: “That should really be on the top shelf.” I move the margarine to its proper place and find a FULL box of margarine sitting on the top shelf.

Cookie, anyone?

100% Complete

The cable man came by today and hooked me back up to the tubes so I’m 100% moved in. Now I have to go get a HD box (the one thing I didn’t check until AFTER the guy left) and figure out where to put the modem and the cables and the phone…but that can wait until after lunch!

Did and Done

-whew- I finally got everything moved in and where I want it. The biggest adjustment I had to make was the new desk. It doesn’t have any drawers so I bought one of those plastic cabinet thingies to chuck all of my junk into. It’s clear plastic, so you can see all the cables, old cards, manuals and other crap that’s inside, I can’t wait for guests to ask “WTF is all that junk?” I had to buy a new microwave…well, make that A microwave, my last place had one built-in, and I haven’t owned one in years, but that’s a story for another time.

Of course, the place isn’t quite 100% yet, but that’ll be taken care of on Saturday when the cable guy comes to hook me up to the tubes and I can jump back on Live. I also need to purchase a second barstool, and then I’ll be ready to throw a party! Don’t forget to bring the beer, RavynX! 😀