Published Online March 30, 2018
Among other things, the opening disclaimer to the Kevin Smith movie “Dogma” states: “Even God has a sense of humor. Just look at the Platypus.”
I hope he’s right. Happy Easter!
The angelic figure pored over a large book and pondered aloud from his pedestal: “Let’s see here…it appears that you lived a good life, Diane.” He looked down and smiled at the woman who stood before him.
“Thank you, Saint Peter.” The recently-deceased woman replied, reverently bowing her head.
“Don’t be so formal! I’m just Peter.” The saint laughed before returning to the tome. “Yes, everything looks good from here! Oh! Wait! Just a moment.” He raised a single finger and looked over a specific page. “It seems you ate meat on a Friday in 2011 during Lent…oh dear, oh dear.” He shook his head. “That is a very serious sin, my dear!”
“I’m sorry, Peter! I was at a party and I had skipped lunch!” The woman cried.
“Sorry, miss, but those are the rules! Down you go, then!”
Saint Peter paused for a moment, placed a hand to his chin and went hmm. He smiled and pointed at the terrified young woman. “Gotcha! Oh, I’m so sorry to give you a fright like that, miss, but I can’t help myself sometimes!” he laughed. “Helps break up the routine.” Diane breathed a sigh of relief. “Congratulations, Diane, you have been found fit to enter Heaven! Any questions before you enter?”
Diane placed a hand to her chin and thought for a moment. “Since you bought it up: Why are we supposed to abstain from meat during Fridays?”
“You know of Jesus’ apostles, right? Like me?” Peter placed a hand on his chest.
The woman nodded. “Yes, Peter.”
Peter winked and answered: “Well, most of us were fishermen, you know!”