Feeding The Ego

It’s Tuesday morning and I am sitting at my desk just absolutely full of piss and vinegar.  I was forced to go home on Monday, using up one of my few days off by the head guy in our department because I came in just a little too sick.  Then,  I come in today to find the hag who is our second-in-command had my old chair removed, never mind that I can’t get comfortable in the stupid new overpriced “ergonomic” chairs.  To top it all off, the idiot sitting next to me keeps on harping about how I made everyone else in the office sick, never mind that he could have sent me home last week when he was in charge, and doesn’t go home himself to recover.  Everyone in the office is hacking and coughing, but I have to be the one sent home.

All that combined made me feel about two-foot small, and all I wanted to do for the rest of the day was sit at my desk, fester like a mushroom until quitting time and then unload at home with some good old fashioned videogame violence or Rock Band.  I fired up my laptop, put on some headphones, and turned up some Smashmouth, hoping it would drown out the constant cacophony of ringing phones, conferences and meetings that I have to work through.  It almost does the job.

As I sat at my desk seething while my PC took forever-and-a-day to download a new security update, I heard a chirp from my cell phone.  I picked it up, expecting to see an IM from one of my friends, but instead I saw a Twitter update.  Hm, I didn’t know it did that.  Neato.  The tweet read:  “Thanks to randomizer9 for making an ‘unofficial’ San Japan :3 commercial for us.  Now featured on our YouTube page”

As I read the screen, I smiled and felt so much better.  Putting something before the monkey house that is the Internet is always asking for trouble.  As a budding voice-over artist, I wasn’t sure how my latest effort would be received.  I have gotten very little feedback from strangers on all the podcasts, blog posts and articles I have thrown to the slippery walls of the Internet so far.   Knowing that The Guys In Charge Of San Japan liked it was very encouraging, and gave me a little ego-boost when I really needed it.

I like to think that I have a small ego, but the fact of the matter is that it is still there, and it likes to be thrown a bone every so often.  As a computer programmer, I am accustomed to being on the bottom of the totem pole.  As odd as it sounds; I actually like it there, because that is where the fun stuff is.  I read Dilbert and MyCage and joke about the people in charge just like everyone else, but being constantly stepped on does get old after awhile and I wonder if this is the “epiphany” telling me that I need to get out of Dodge.

But, you know what?  That angst can wait until I fire up Borderlands tonight and pump everything that moves full of hot lead or start up Rock Band and cue up some punk songs.  I’ll gladly ride this little ego-boost through the rest of my crappy workday and give it another shot tomorrow…after sending some resumes out tonight, of course!


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