CONS, IKKICON, JUST SAYING, ORIGINAL-GAMER.COM, RANDOM STOPS, RANDOMIZER9.COM, Videogames

19 Things I Learned During Ikkicon V

So far at cons, I’ve been an attendee, worked at tables in Artist Alley, been part of a few panels and even played in a concert.  After volunteering to help run the game room at Ikkicon V this past weekend as part of the Alamo Gaming / Original-Gamer.com group, I’m wondering what there is left to do at a con short of being a big guest or actually running one.

In any event, I learned quite a few things over Ikkicon’s three days, some of which I’m not sure I wanted to, but that’s life.  So without further ado:

  1. If a member of your group has B.O. issues, your time in the hotel room will SUCK.  We had a guy that stunk up the hotel room on the first night and it remained funky for the duration, which made going back a VERY unpleasant affair.  I think my nose said “no mas” sometime Saturday night and went on strike.
  2. Unless you are in charge of something or a guest, don’t expect to get a badge with your name on it, I was given someone ELSE’S badge, so I tore off part of a sticky note and put my name over it. Bleh.
  3. Always pre-register and get your badge on Thursday night if you can, because if things go wrong during registration they go HORRIBLY WRONG. Luckily I didn’t have to wait in it, but the reg line was INSANE.
  4. Plan all you want, but something will always throw you a curve ball. I packed some microwaveable food to chow on so as to avoid overpriced hotel food and unnecessary excursions, and you guessed it, there was no microwave in the room.
  5. If there is a food that you enjoy to the point where you think could live off of it, then pack plenty of it along.  You will discover whether you really CAN live off of it.  Lucky for me, I still find Kashi granola bars and peanut butter crackers to be tasty.
  6. I am a Coke fiend.  I was dying for a soda on Saturday, so I said ‘heck with it’ and dropped $2.50 for a 20 oz bottle of sweet, sweet caffeine at the coffee shop in the lobby.  I wouldn’t have minded the price too much, but it wasn’t even that cold, if I’m gonna pay twice as much for a soda there should be some frost on the bottle…just sayin’
  7. The optimist in me says that we ran out of hand sanitizer Saturday night, the pessimist in me says that people will steal ANYTHING no matter how trivial.
  8. If you plan on running something at a con, expect that it is all you are going to do at the con.  I spent most of the weekend making sure no one hogged the Rock Band 3 station.  I took a few trips away to say hi to friends and grab some food on Saturday morning but as far as panels and events…nada.
  9. If you plan on running something at a con and doing it fairly, expect that jerks are going to think you are a jerk for doing so.  I repeatedly told people that I did not want them camping at the Rock Band 3 just waiting to play again. I got a lot of ugly looks in return, but I also got compliments from people who appreciated that I was doing my best to be fair.
  10. Geeks love “Bohemian Rhapsody” and “Still Alive” and will sing along if they are played loud enough.
  11. They also really like “Du Hast.” For the life of me, I don’t get it, and frankly, I think it’s the German thing. Heck, I still like “99 Luftbaloons” from back in the day but unlike “Du Hast” it actually has lyrics.
  12. “Freebird” is just too cotton-pickin’ long.  My Xbox 360 locked up during it, and at another event, a guitar controller’s batteries gave out while it was playing.
  13. Having a 24-hour videogame room is a BAD IDEA. The problem with a 24-hour videogame room is that you need to have people in there all the time to keep stuff from walking out the door and to assist with the occasional system lock-up and dead controller batteries.
  14. If you are in charge of something, GET ALL THE DETAILS IN WRITING and have it signed by whomever is in charge.  We had some behind-the-scenes drama go down that could have been avoided if everyone had been on the same page from the start.  None of this ‘he said, she said’ business, just a signed piece of paper that says what has been decided on so there are no questions.
  15. Sometimes you must go down to go up.  If you find yourself waiting forever and a day to get on an ‘up’ elevator to get back to your room, go into one that is going down…it’ll come back up soon enough.
  16. If you don’t want to be harassed by the valets for your keys, park about 2 carlengths away from the hotel entrance.
  17. Owning your own dolly or hand truck rocks, if you are going to be working cons frequently, GET ONE.  Heck, even if you aren’t, get one anyway.
  18. When its all over and you go home, you will feel like crap, collapse onto your bed Sunday night, sleep like a rock, and will probably will not be back to normal until Tuesday.
  19. Despite all of the above, you will get to hang out with lots of cool people, have lots of fun and it will be totally worth it.

Ikkicon was a lot of work, but it was also a lot of fun.  If the group I was involved in gets invited back, then I would be happy to come back next year…packing a microwave.

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RANDOM REVIEW: 2010

The most telling thing that I can say about 2010 is that I spent the last third of it without a full-time job, after getting canned back in August. I’ll be honest, I have nobody but myself to blame for that; a friend asked me if my bosses had been looking for a reason to get rid of me awhile back.  I sheepishly replied: “Well, if they were, they didn’t have to look very hard!”

Thus, the whole “what am I going to do with myself” debate I’d been having since 2009 (and heck, probably earlier than that) took on a whole new meaning as I applied for tech writer, tech support, and even editing jobs in an attempt to get away from programming.  I am currently scheduled to start a new programming job on the January 24th…well, so much for that.

Of course, sitting behind a desk for 40-something hours a week hating my job was not the only thing I did all year.  I also continued to be involved in First Storm Manga, handing out flyers and manga at a couple of anime cons throughout the year and keeping the website humming.  We are also going to be hosting our first event, the “Mezasu mini-con” on January 22nd.  While I enjoy hanging out with the guys, and it is fun going to events, I’m not sure that I want to be as involved in First Storm next year.  I’m just not sure that I’m getting a lot out of it, but I’ll bottle up that angst and save it for a future blog.

Another new ‘side job’ that I picked up was that of Writer/Editor/Voice Guy for video game website Original-Gamer.com. I started out just providing narration for some of their videos but eventually got more involved in the site, editing articles for readability and even writing reviews.  Because of that involvement, I was able to attend the 2010 Electronic Entertainment Expo (E3) in July, and it completely blew me away.  I also had the privilege of attending the “Distant Worlds: Music From Final Fantasy” concert in Houston, and the pleasure of interviewing famed video game music luminaries Nobou Uematsu and Arnie Roth.

Speaking of music, I was invited to join a band called The Loliholix. It turns out they needed a drummer, and I just happened to know how to play drums and have way too much time on my hands.  After getting an electric drum kit and an big ol’ honkin’ PA to use as an amp, I was ready to rock.  Practicing and hanging out the band was fun, but playing our first big gig at San Japan was awesome.  Being part of a show, even if it is a small one, is just incredible.  The audience feeds off of your energy and gives more back to you.

All the while, I have continued with my creative endeavors, namely writing.  I completed some very short stories, even entering one into a writing contest, and am working with my friend Chris Holm on some comics.  I also have some longer works that I hope to finish soon.  I am hoping to get my stories, and even some non-fiction, onto the various e-readers and phones and pads that are all the rage these days.  Hopefully, I can make a few bucks on the side that way.

As if being a part time musician and writer wasn’t enough, I also read for a part in a short film that my friend Carey Martell is currently working on called “Deathfist Ninja GKaiser.” Now, I won’t be too disappointed if I end up as Man in Suit #6 but having a speaking part and being the first person in the show to get fried by the Big Bad Guy would be cool, too.

All the while, I managed to post to this blog and keep up a somewhat-regular schedule with my podcast: “300 Seconds.”  I figure that if I can get out one blog post a week and two podcasts a month on top of all the other stuff I’m doing, then I’m doing alright.

Overall, 2010 was a great year for me.  I got to meet a lot of cool people and had a lot of really neat experiences.  Sure, it sucked to lose my job, but with the help and support of family and friends (and some creative budgeting) I’m hanging in there, in fact, I already have a job lined up in a few weeks so things are looking up!. I have faith that things will turn around soon and 2011 will rock even harder.

Farewell and Godspeed, 2010.  You were one to remember.

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RANDOM REVIEW: Tron Legacy

The original Tron was a seminal part of growing up nerdy for me.  I actually saw it in the the theater back in the day and loved the (to me, anyway) oh-so-cool visuals, music and jargon, and I still enjoy it today on DVD.  Sure, its a little less impressive now that I actually know about computers and electronics (you could imagine my disappointment upon finding out what a Logic Probe actually does) but it’ll always have a special place in this nerd’s heart nonetheless.  Minor spoilers ahead, though nothing too major.

Tron Legacy picks up a few years after the events of the first movie.  Kevin Flynn is enjoying his “happy ever after” running Encom and spending time with his son, Sam.  Kevin suddenly falls off the map and we catch up to Sam years later being a typical rebel wihout a cause, albeit one that is a 1337 hacker, rides motorcycles like a madman, and apparently does BASE jumping.

Sam gets a sign that leads him back to the “Flynn’s” arcade of the first movie where he finds his father’s secret lab and gets zapped into the Electronic World (now called The Grid) just like dear old dad.

I was disappointed with the look of The Grid, the exteriors looked like the real world with a neon coat of paint, and the Recognizers were a let down. I mean, sure, they were more ‘realistic’ but come on, did they really need to have jets? We’re inside a computer, people!

Unlike the original, Legacy dives right into the action.  Sam has barely had enough time to get comfy in his new neon duds when he is tossed into a disc duel and a lightcycle battle.  The vehicles (Recognizers nonwithstanding, yeah I know, I’ll let it go now) look more “Tron-like” than anything  else and the action sequences are easily the highlight of the movie.

Sam soon escapes and finds Kevin with the aid of smexy program Quorra and they all race to escape The Grid and stop a nefarious plot from unfolding before the door to our world shuts again.

I thought Tron Legacy was a fun ride, the action sequences were exciting and visually breathtaking.  There were plenty of clever in-jokes for geeks and for fans of the first movie.  Some of the dialogue appeared to have been lifted word-for-word from the original, and the technical stuff made a bit more sense this time around.  For example, in an early scene, a programmer stops a hack with the Unix kill command.

While there are some philosophical statements sprinkled throughout about free software and the pursuit of perfection, they play second fiddle to the action.  I was a little disappointed in the climax which felt a bit  ‘deus ex machina’ to me, but to be fair, so was the climax of the original.

I enjoyed Tron Legacy; much like the original, it isn’t going to win any awards for its story, but the acting is good and the visuals and music are great.  I think other fans of the original will like it, but it’ll be a toss-up for newbies.

4 out of 5 Identity Discs.

END OF LINE.

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MEMORANDUM

To:  Me

From:  Recently Unemployed Me

Re:  Being Unemployed

Okay, so you lost your job.  It isn’t the first time, and while it may be comforting to think it will be the last, you never know.  You dug yourself into this hole, and you are going to be the one to dig yourself out of it.  Remember these things:

  • It is not the end of the world.  Yes, it is easy for me to tell you this from where I am sitting, but you have a plan and it is time to execute it
  • You have been here before.  Remember the mistakes you made last time and do not repeat them.
  • Always be pessimistic in your planning: hope for the best, but assume the worst.
  • You are not alone: you have friends and family that want to help.  Let them.  This is not the time to retreat into a cave and shut everyone out.
  • Smile.  Have fun.  Enjoy life.
  • To survive, you will have to sacrifice and you will have to suffer.  Deal with it.  When you are back on your feet you will appreciate the things you had to do without even more.
  • The only truly bad job is having none at all.  Try something new.
  • Do the things you said you would do “if you had the time.”  You now have the time.
  • You will get angry, you will get frustrated, and you will get upset.  Don’t bottle it up.  Get it out of your system and move on.
  • Above all else, do not fall into despair.  Have faith in yourself and keep moving forward.

Good luck.

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WHEEE-3!

A few months ago when I got the e-mail from Oscar of original-gamer.com saying that I was part of the crew going to E3, I got excited.  Soon, the feeling had died down.  The constant stream of emails from various and sundry game and peripheral companies served as constant reminders that I was going to E3, but they failed to get me excited again.  As I opened my credentials in the mail, I got hyped up again, but once again, the excitement slowly ebbed away.

The stream of “Please come to our booth!” emails continued, and before I knew it, this past Sunday was the planning get-together and pre-E3 podcast.  I was happy, but not quite “OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD I’M GOING TO E3!” excited.

Yesterday, I received an email asking me to go to a booth to check out a certain music game.  I’m not sure if I can say the name or not, so I will say that it does involve rock but won’t make me a hero.

“OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD I’M GOING TO GET TO PLAY THIS GAME AT E3!”

I drove home yesterday with a big-ass smile on my face as I banged the drum beat to “Walking on Sunshine” by Katrina and the Waves on the Reliant’s steering wheel.  I was excited again, and I still am.  By this time next week, I will be in the midst of forty-thousand plus fellow members of the industry checking out all the Cool New Stuff and helping to report on it to all the happy-shiny people out in Internetland.

It feels a little odd to think of myself as “part of the industry” though.  In my mind, I am just the “voice guy” for original-gamer.com, and a writer and editor for them as well.

Then again, maybe it isn’t that big of a stretch.

Despite the fact that I will admittedly be (big finger quotes here) “working,” next week’s trip to E3 is my summer vacation.  I had recently been grousing about how I haven’t taken a ‘real vacation’ to somewhere far and/or different in a few years.  Well, if going to California to stand shoulder-to-shoulder with a bunch of developers, peripheral makers, Really Important People and fellow website multi-hat wearers doesn’t fit that bill, I don’t know what does!

Ready or not, here I come!!

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Cheesy New Year Fun!

I’m not a fan of big gatherings (anime cons nonwithstanding) and thus, I usually spend New Year’s Eve at my parents’ or at my apartment if I’m not up for making the drive to visit them.

A few years ago, I was living with my parents during some rough times, and it was New Year’s Eve.  Thanks in part to the crappy job I had at the time, I had decided to just stay in and really not do much of anything.  It was a pretty lackadaisical evening, and I soon had a craving…for CHEESE!

Not just any cheese, mind you, but melted cheese with Ro-Tel diced tomatoes made in a Crock-Pot with tortilla chips dipping into the melty cheesy goodness…mmmmm.  I told my folks I was going to the store to get the ingredients, and suddenly inspired by the power of the cheese (or perhaps the power of the suggestion of cheese, but that’s being anal) they went to the store as well to get shrimp, cocktail sauce, vegetables, ranch dip, and drinks.

Soon, I’m cubing cheese, Mom is cutting vegetables, and Dad is going next door to invite family over.  What began as a humdrum evening soon became a fun time with family and friends, and all because of THE POWER OF CHEESE!

Fast forward to December 31, 2009…I decided to stay at home for New Year’s Eve because there was an anime convention I wanted to go to that weekend.  As I’m at my desk working (and seething over having to work on New Year’s Eve), I soon had a craving…for CHEESE!  I was practically drooling as I punched in the ingredients list into my phone, intending to stop at the store on the way home.

I arrived home at my apartment, and went to rinse out the Crock-Pot before getting started.  I figured it would just be me and the cheese hanging out at home for New Year’s, oh well.  I then got a phone call from a friend, it seemed he and his wife had just gotten home from their holiday trip and were wondering what I was going to do for New Year’s.

I replied that I was going to make some cheese and probably play some Rock Band, so I figured what the hey and invited them over.  They said yes, and a few invites sent via text message later, I had a group of friends over hanging out, playing games, and just having a good time…all because of THE POWER OF CHEESE!

Some folks have black-eyed peas for New Year’s, my mom makes menudo (which I sadly often miss *sniff*) but I’ll be whipping out the old Crock-Pot next New Year’s Eve in order to UNLEASH THE CHEESE!

Side note:  I never use Velveeta, I have found that the generic/store brands (HEB in particular) have less sodium and more cheesy goodness!

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CREATIVE, RANDOMIZER9.COM

Tweet-kus are smart fun / a quick creative brain snack / thanks furry person!

Inspiration is a curious mistress. Much like her sister Lady Luck, she plays by her own rules and can strike without warning at the most odd circumstances.

This past New Year’s Eve weekend, I went with a friend to Ikkicon in Austin. It was something to do, and if nothing else, cosplayers always make for an interesting and fun time people-watching.

I had a feeling that the flavor of odd that is usually associated with anime conventions was going to be a little extra-spicy by virtue of the con’s location, and Austin did not disappoint. As I walked around enjoying the spectacle as it lay before me, I saw something that struck me as odd.

Okay, MORE odd…

It was a person wearing a full head-to-toe red animal/critter/Pokemon-looking-thing costume with what appeared to be a fox’s head and tail. That in itself isn’t unusual, but the kicker was that this person was WALKING AROUND ON THEIR HANDS AND KNEES like an animal. It threw me for a loop; crossing into that “dangerously geeky” territory that I try to avoid like most people avoid regular geeks. Sadly, I was too transfixed by the specacle to take a picture with my cell phone camera, but I did get a picture of that person some time later, this time on two feet, as they assumed some kind of “battle pose” while facing another cosplayer in full regalia.

Now, this is just one of those events that is just DYING to be posted to Facebook. Its nice to have something unique to report besides the usual “I’m having a good/bad day” or “work sucks” or “OMG my child just did something for the first time!” stuff.

Playing with words is something I like to do, and I pondered over how to report this person’s rather successful attempt to “Keep Austin Weird.” I thought I’d borrow a meme from Fark.com and go with a 1-2-3 type of post, showing how this individual went from “Geeky” to “Super Geeky” to “Dangerously Geeky.”

I liked the words, but the format looked ordinary to me. Granted, that may be an effect of spending too much time on Fark.com, but in any event, I thought I could do better. While riding that train of thought, I got the idea of putting it into a haiku style. That is, a three-line verse with the first line containing five syllables, the next, seven and the last, five. I came up with:

bright red furry suit
walking around on all fours
what the frak is this

It was even short enough to fit into a tweet, which delighted me to no end. I then decided that it would a fun to put my postings for the rest of the week into what I call “tweet-ku” format, which adds a 160-character limit to the haiku structure. Despite my tendency to get “wordy,” I don’t think the character limit ever came up, and I only goofed up once on syllable count, so it went well.

A pleasant side effect of the exercise is that those self-imposed limits forced me think creatively in order to stay within them. At times, I struggled to keep my syllables at the correct counts, and I would find myself reading aloud while counting syllables on my fingers. Luckily, I would usually be inside at the time, or in the presence of other like-minded geeks who didn’t ask me why I was counting on my fingers.

Stretching that creative muscle helped me to finish other things, and I think I might be onto something. I may take to writing tweet-kus whenever my muse is tired of the drudgery of my nine-to-five and needs a quick snack to get it going.

Needless to say, that won’t take long!

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Flu Part Deux

Back in May, I had a pretty good laugh over the swine flu hype.  I got sick, went to the doctor, had to wear a mask while waiting and took a funny picture of it with my cell phone camera.  Everything ended up okay, and eventually all the swine flu hype died down somewhat.

Fast-forward to last Tuesday, when a coworker comes in sick.  I’ll be honest, I’ve been “that guy” and its no fun when you become Patient Zero and end up infecting the whole office.  For some reason, nobody wants to sit next to you at lunch anymore!  The woman who sits next to Patient Zero starts to feel sick the next day, and I go home Thursday after lunch and start popping cough syrup and acetaminophen because I am getting worse as the evening rolls on.

I wake up on Friday running a 102-degree fever and feeling like crap.  Despite this, I manage to drag my tail to HEB to get some groceries for what I figure is going to be a rough next few days.  I spend the rest of Friday either in bed or on the couch, feeling crappy the whole time.  Despite this, I figure I’ll ride it out and decide to not go to the doctor.

Yes, I know.  Bad Idea. I’ve already heard it from both my parents, both my brothers, and a couple of friends.  ANYWAY…

That evening, a friend drops by to pick up a hard drive enclosure because his computer has gone to binary heaven.  He wisely decides to not enter the apartment.  Frankly, I can’t say I blame him, because I looked like hell and sounded worse when I answered the door.  We jaw for a bit, and then he goes on his merry way to do some PC-fixing.

I wake up on Saturday feeling a lot better.  The fever is down to 100 degrees, and I feel good enough to do laundry and a little shopping.  I’m clearly not running on all eight cylinders yet, because by mid-afternoon I’m feeling tired.  I decide to take a nap before the First Storm Manga coffee shop meeting that evening.

I arrive at the coffee shop and place my order.  The guy behind the counter notices I’m not quite myself, and asks how I’m feeling.  I tell him I’m getting over a bug.  He asks if its the swine flu, and I remark: “Well, if it is, I’m not impressed, because I’m already getting over it.”

I’ll take “Asking For It” for $200, Alex.

The meeting is going well as the evening progress, mainly because there really isn’t much to discuss.  We spend more time shooting the breeze than anything else.  At just past eight o’clock, my phone rings.  I spend a few seconds wondering why my boss would be calling me on a Saturday night before answering.  He tells me that a third person at work got sick and went home on Friday.  After running a 102-degree fever himself, he went to the E.R. (“Puss” I thought to myself) and there it was discovered that he had swine flu.

Up until that point, I had not even thought about it.  As nutty as it sounds, catching the flu isn’t that big of a deal to me, because I usually get a pretty nasty case at least every other year or so.  I become miserable for a few days, miss a few days of work, maybe see the Doctor, take some meds and life goes on.

I tell the guys, and I’m all but ready to pack up my Netbook, go home and quarantine myself for the next few days.  One of our members, who happens to be a 4th-year pharmacy student, just shrugs and says, “its not that big a deal.”  The guy that was using my PSP at the time, however, spent a good fifteen minutes in the men’s room washing his hands but not until after he completely drained its battery playing God of War.

Now THAT’S  hardcore.

I’m still sick, mind you, so I take off an hour later once the acetaminophen starts to wear off.  I get home and sit on the couch to rest for a bit.  I remember the guy I lent the enclosure to…and his wife and kid.  Fark.  I call him and let him know he might have a nice warm box of H1N1 sitting in his computer room, and even he seems pretty nonplussed about the whole situation.

I figure they’re fine, so who am I to get freaked out?  I stayed at home on Sunday (temp now 99 and change), and enjoyed some football as the new season began.  I woke up this morning with no temperature but I’m hacking and coughing all over the place, so I take a second day off so that I don’t end up literally spreading it all over the office.  The boss tells me that the other two folks are out as well, so I don’t feel too bad.

I will be at work tomorrow morning, but whether I stay at work is another matter entirely.  I will probably still be coughing a bit, but whether that will be enough to get me tossed out of the office remains to be seen.

If it seems like I’m brushing it off, then yeah, I suppose I am.  In my defense, I don’t know if I even have the swine flu.  The guy that did test positive for it does sit within arm’s length of me, but that doesn’t prove anything.  If it is the swine flu, then its pretty damn mild compared to some week-long nasty bugs I’ve had in the past, so Praise the Lord and pass the chicken soup.

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RANDOMIZER9.COM

randomizER911

The weekend started out well enough: I got out of work at 4, went home to take it easy for a bit, and then went to visit some old friends at a hotel they were staying at.  We had some pizza and some laughs.  I eventually left, and hit I-10 to go back to my apartment for another exciting Friday of grocery shopping and Guitar Hero.

Life was good, I was cruising on up the freeway, Phil Collins was on the radio and somewhere around West Avenue it hit me…I felt a numbing sensation on the left side of my body.  I immediately suspected the worst…and next thing I know I am flying up the freeway towards the Medical Center trying to remember where the nearest ER was that wasn’t University Hospital.

(for the record, yes I have been there before, and yes, the waits are as long as people say)

In addition to the numbness, my heart felt like it was pounding a mile a minute, and yet I wasn’t breathing hard.  Occasionally, for some odd reason, I would check my pulse, perhaps to make sure it was still there.  I have been involved in medical emergencies before, but prior it was stuff that I either saw coming (appendix blowing up) or that weren’t life-threatening (broken wrist, pulled back).  This one had me scared, I think I recited every prayer I could think of as I sped towards Methodist Specialst and Transplant Hospital.

I parked the Reliant, took an extra minute to place my Netbook in the trunk (old habits and all that) and waited in the Emergency Room frightened out of my wits.  I preferred to stand up, I figured that if Something Bad occurred, the sound of my 275-pound body hitting the ground would garner more attention than me simply slumping over and going off into The Big Goodnight.

I called one of my brothers, whom I had just seen, and let him know what was going on.  I asked him not to tell our parents, I didn’t want them to worry.  About five minutes later, I called them beause I didn’t want them to be the last ones to know either.

I filled out a form saying what I was there for, handed it to the triage nurse, and watched the TV in the ER waiting room for a bit.  The Simpsons were on, followed by Family Guy, and they temporarily distracted me from the more pressing issue at hand.

The triage nurse called me over, and I must have sounded very nervous as I rattled off my symptoms, meds, and other pertinent information.  The nurse took my vitals and sent me to registration to get checked in so that she could start some tests.

The gal at the registration desk was cute, I remember thinking at the time that if my clock was to be punched tonight, this wouldn’t be a bad time for it.  At least the last thing I would see on God’s Green Earth would be something pretty.  I gave out more information; insurance, address, yadda yadda yadda, and sat back down briefly before the triage nurse called me over to do an EKG and take some blood samples.

After taking the EKG and before taking the blood, she got a phone call, and she started discussing “Mr. Soliz” and his “abnormal EKG” which didn’t help matters much.  I was then told that the EKG did not appear to be a heart attack.  To her credit, the nurse nailed the IV on the first shot, which is no mean feat, I am quite literally “thick skinned”.  One nurse way back when actually TWISTED the needle while it was in my arm and had the effing nerve to ask if it hurt.  I don’t think I’ve ever wanted to kick someone’s ass so badly.

I phoned the family with an update, and I was soon whisked to a room in the ER, where I waited, and waited and waited.  A new nurse peeked in on me about two hours in, remarking that they were quite busy.  I didn’t let it bother me, hey, its Friday night, right?

Two hours and change after that, I finally saw the doctor.  He gave the the usual once-over with the stethescope, and asked me a lot of questions about the day.  Everything looked fine, he said, but he wanted to take a chest X-ray, so not 15 minutes later, another gal and the giant X-ray machine drop in.  She also looked cute, so I tried to be Mr. Cool and failed miserably…my fly had been open the entire time.  Story of my life, I tell you.

I sheepishly zipped up and awaited the doctor.  He came about a half hour later and told me that everything had come up roses, blood, urine, x-ray, and vitals (don’t ask where the roses came from…Just.  Don’t.  Ask.).  I have had odd unexplained things happen to me in the past that had no explanation (for example, I am allergic to something but don’t know what, I break out in hives every few years or so) and so we dismissed it as Just One Of Those Things, and I was sent home with instructions to return should it flare up again.  The nurse then removed the IV and I was sent on my merry way.

As I got up I saw someone who didn’t make it being wheeled by, and it served as a reminder of the initial gravity of the situation.

I called the family again and assured them that all was well and then I hit the road.  An hour later, here I am banging out a blog post about the whole experience, but at least I won’t be known as “that guy that sent tweets from the ER.”

I did consder it though.

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