I’m being laid off from my job next month, so I thought about what I will and won’t miss from it.

I won’t miss:

1. Idiot coworkers
2. Idiot customers
3. Incompetent manager
4. Jerkface department head
5. Idiot temporary employees trashing the place
6. Carl (there’s always a ‘Carl’)
7. That guy that tries to justify the crappy things the company does
8. Our crappy software
9. Our crappy websites
10. Our crappy apps
11. Our crappy phone system
12. Having to tell customer our crappy software doesn’t work because it was made in 1999.
13. Having to tell customers our crappy websites, apps and phone system are down…again
14. Having to tell idiot workers to do their jobs
15. Telling idiot workers how to do the job they have been doing for years
16. Workforce (mis)Management
17. Waking up early
18. Traffic
19. Lousy parking
20. Half-hour lunch
21. Lousy places to eat in the area
22. Timesheets
23. 2% raises…when there ARE raises
24. Shagnasty coffee
25. Overpriced vending
26. Having to bring my own coffee
27. Insulting ‘contests’ from management

Things I will miss:

1. The nice gal from Legal
2. The ‘office mom’ (there’s always one!)
3. The metalhead guy (there’s always one!)
4. Money, but most importantly…
5. Health Insurance!