A few months ago, I started a field technician job which requires me to drive around the great state of Texas. Of course, while on the highways, byways, and backways of the Lone Star State, I noticed a few things:
- My company car is a Chevy Equinox which is a boat compared to my Honda CR-V
#7 My road! (sort of)
- I have dubbed my company car: “The Leviathan.”
- I do like that The Leviathan has a BRAAP horn as opposed to the CR-V’s meep.
- That moment when you’re happy to be back on a properly paved road
- …with a middle stripe.
- Whenever I see a Choke Canyon BBQ or gas station I’ll always think: “Hey it’s those guys who tried to rip off Buc-ees”
- I vaguely remembered a ‘Solis Road’ as a child and found it. Of course, I had to take a selfie.
- Rio Grande Valley radio sucks.
- Rio Grande Valley drivers suck.
- “Next services 45 miles” means it’s time for a restroom break.
- It’s always funny to see the road literally change from one county to another.
- See also: county deputies waiting for speeders.
- Dear GPS: Unless there is a significant delay, clam up and let me stay on the route I’m on.
- Company-issued iPhone meant that I got to rediscover how lousy Apple Maps is.
- What is it with small towns and Y intersections just outside of them?
- Note to self: ALWAYS check how much range your gas tank has left before leaving a small town out in the middle of nowhere.
- I always think: “Warp speed, Mr Sulu!” whenever I see that first 55 MPH sign outside of a small town.
- This beats being in a crappy open plan office while the fluorescent lights suck the life out of me: I’m on my own, I get to listen to music, and the company pays for gas, room, and hotels.
- Gas plumes from oil drilling operations look eerie at night.
- If you need super-bright LED headlights, maybe your blind tail shouldn’t be driving at night
- See also: Fog lights the size of headlights.
- You know a town is really small when they don’t even have a Dairy Queen
- I’m not sure I want to go to a restaurant who’s slogan is: Put some South in your Mouth
- The road is a good place to charge your smartwatch.
- Fueling up in a small town makes one appreciate the city, especially given that the gas is 50 cents less expensive a gallon there.
- Granted I’m not paying, but still.
- Remote start is awesome, makes me feel all Knight Rider and stuff.
- It would be even more awesome if I didn’t always get inside the Leviathan just before the engine cuts out.
- Where’s the KITT personal assistant?
- Construction, just the thing to make I-10 north of San Antonio worse.
- Funny how in small towns there are nearly always signs directing you to the football stadium and cemetery.
- I kinda get the whole ‘put a cross on the top of a hill’ thing but I kinda don’t.
- Nothing like passing the Whataburger you had breakfast at 14 hours earlier on your way home.
- Getting on the road early means seeing some of the wildlife out and about, particularly deer.
- Saw a gas station that was converted into a computer repair shop. At least it wasn’t a liquor store.
- That moment when your GPS reads: “230 miles remaining.”
- Nothing like doing a hasty 180 because you passed the one gas station in a town out in the middle of nowhere.
- Sampling the local flavor can be a mite harder on Sunday.
- If you could display state lines more prominently, Google Maps, that would be greaaat.
- You know you’re in a small county when the county road names consist of single letters.
- My company and personal phones are on different providers. Few things make the hair on the back of my neck stand up like losing signal on BOTH of them.
- God Bless Dairy Queen!