“Up On The Housetop,” Gene Autry, 1953
This is Gene’s third (and well-deserved) entry on this list. Who wouldn’t go?
TRIVIA: The song was written by Benjamin Hanby in 1864. In addition to being a songwriter, Benjamin was also involved in the Underground Railroad.
Click here for sixty more Christmas songs!
#25: Darn skippy
After (too many) years since my last trip to the iconic Texas summer getaway, I decided to take stay for a night to see if anything had changed since then. I’m glad to say that the park is mostly the same, but I did notice a few things…
- It is only a two hour drive from San Antonio to Garner, as opposed to three and a half from my parent’s house. WHAT TOOK ME SO LONG?
- I took Highway 90 on the way over, and will likely take the ‘scenic route’ on the way home.
- Shocked to find hardly any vehicles at the park office, think I picked a perfect time to come!
- Temperature notwithstanding, anyway.
- Slept without the benefit of air conditioning at home the night before to prepare myself. Not too hard.
- Resisting the urge to turn on my CR-V’s air conditioner on the drive over, however, was quite difficult!
- Lost my cell signal somewhere between Sabinal and the park. Didn’t miss it…
- Okay, maybe I missed it a little, but that’s because I’m waiting to hear back about an interview.
- Despite the low number of cars at the park office, I still had to wait a bit.
- I pulled number 70 and the last one helped was 65. People have no patience!
- My original plan was to stay two nights, but I shortened it to one…maybe once it isn’t a billion degrees out.
- It has been so long, I only have vague memories, but a few were jostled loose when I drove by the campsite I (think) I stayed in last time.
Upon reaching my site, I had to take a picture of my CR-V like it’s in one of those SUV commercials.
- Set up my tent only to find the zipper on the door isn’t working quite right. Crap.
- Only packed sandwiches and snacks to eat; I have no desire to prepare or eat any hot food while I’m here.
- Not bringing my stove and any food to heat up made packing harder somehow.
- Chili lime chips are the closest I’ll get to heat today.
- I’m keeping my Pebble Time smartwatch on even though my cell phone is kaputski. It still works as a pedometer, and well, a watch.
- Hiked down to the riverbank, had the obligatory ‘slip on the muddy ground/slick rocks’ moment.
- It is hard to resist taking panoramic pictures. Some beautiful country, here.
- Finding trash around cheeses me off, and I pick up what I can.
- I can appreciate the irony in the gift shop selling bottle openers.
- Yes, I bought one, because why not?
- Picked up a cane sugar Dr. Pepper from the ‘Stinkin’ Sweet’ candy store to make sure it wasn’t defective.
- Also bought a bumper sticker. Thanks to some unintended help from Verizon (see #7) it’s pretty easy to stay unplugged.
- Didn’t do any tubing, but went for a refreshing swim by the dam.
- Is there a rule that says the only people that buy portable speakers have to have the crappiest taste in music?
- The tube/paddleboat rental shack is no more, replaced by a trailer.
- They also have a food truck ‘Garner Grill.’ Dunno if they have tacos.
- Spent most of the afternoon sitting at my campsite, listening to the radio and working on this list.
- I also spent about twenty minutes just looking at birds.
- Didn’t do much, really, but that’s kind of the point.
- My $15 Emerson analog radio picks up The Eagle from San Antonio, yet my CR-V doesn’t. Huh.
- Jackrabbits are freaking HUGE.
- Saw a guy walk into the men’s room shower followed by his dog. Damn furries.
- Garner Grill has the best food truck slogan ever: “Where fat free can take a hike.” No tacos, though.
- They did have burgers, of which I partook. Hooray for convenience!
- Got a story idea while waiting for my food. Hooray for inspiration!
- I was a little surprised at how active the wildlife got once the sun went down.
- Annoying music coming from a car at a nearby camp. If his battery dies, and they ask: No, I don’t have jumper cables.
- Annoying music stops, and I can now hear music coming from somewhere else. *sigh*
- You don’t know how sunburned you are until try to go to sleep.
- It was a fitful night’s sleep. I’m not sure if it was the heat or my bedding that kept me up.
- One night of tent camping is definitely enough in Texas’s August heat.
- The scenic route home was a fun little drive.
- I look forward to coming back when the temperature isn’t so brutal!
I would drive one thousand miles…
Of course, now that its all said and done, one last list.
- I heard more conversations about DnD this weekend then I have in my entire life up to this point.
- Not sure which is worse: watching the Dallas Cowboys nearly blow the game on TV or hearing them nearly blow it on the radio.
- I put 1,000+ miles on the Excelsior during the trip…whew.
- Three days of sleeping on the ground made me really appreciate my bed.
- I was fortunate enough to have only encountered one raccoon.
- No matter how tired I am, no matter how many hours I’ve spent on the road, no matter how badly I want to get home, there’s always time for a stop at Buc-ees.
- Gas at Buc-ees was $2.99 a gallon for regular unleaded, WOW.
- The logjam I hit on I-35 South going home had me wishing I’d taken 281 instead, ugh.
- RED DIRT EVERYWHERE GET IT OFF GET IT OFF GET IT OFF
- Lesson learned: if I come back I’m getting a tent spot away from the bathrooms and the campfire.
- I am so glad I took Monday off from work to recover. After what happened the last time, I almost stayed home!
Have some corn squeezens!
I’ve never been to an outdoor convention before, nor to Oklahoma, so Oklacon promised to be a different experience. Indeed it was!
- Parking on top of the hill made me appreciate having a Honda CR-V instead of a Dodge Neon all the more.
- Standing in the slow registration line wasn’t all that bad after 7+ hours on the road.
- I was a little worried about finding a decent radio station, then realized I should have been more worried about reception.
- Apparently only loud people stay up late at night…argh
- Chopping wood in the middle of the night? SERIOUSLY?
- I know darn well there’s no signal, but I keep checking my phone. I may have a problem.
- About the only thing I could do with this phone was update this list.
- As is the custom, Artist’s Alley was located in Mos Isley.
- The hard ground kept me from sleeping at night, but at least I was warm. /shrug
- There were no smut writers at the artist’s meetup, or at least none willing to own up to it.
- The weather was pretty nice once the chill got out if the air…unfortunately it got a little too warm on Saturday.
- Doesn’t seem to be much concern about ‘breaking the magic’ here…then again there isn’t a ‘headless lounge’ either.
- I enjoyed the ‘Furry common sense’ panel, learned a lot of ‘good to know’ information.
- Love the little ‘codes’ they put on the badges.
- They had ‘predator’ and ‘prey’ designs for the baseball caps, clever.
- Bears are omnnivores, so I could go either way…fark it, I bought one with a predator design.
- Someone reportedly got cactus needles stuck in their hand, not sure if there was a mouse available to assist.
- What would a ‘redneck’ fur like Mr. Drunky up there be called?
- Bad Science was DEPRESSING, though Dr. Nuka kinda turned it around at the end
- Favorite new phrase, heard during Bad Science: “Animal Malfunction”
- Got my first badge commission done. I liked it, and I paid for another one.
- I really need to establish a fursona, the second artist I purchased a commission from had all these questions and I was all “I DON’T KNOW!”
- Some guy called me ‘Ed’ and totally confused me until I realized it was on the badge I had commissioned and was now wearing.
- Nothing like thinking you lost your wallet to make for an exciting evening.
- One benefit of being an early riser is there’s always hot water in the shower.
- Big thanks to whomever left the giant bottle of body wash in the showers. Not that I was out, but ‘fresh mango’ wasn’t quite the vibe I was going for…need to check the label next time.
- I woke up on Saturday morning to find someone asleep on top of a hill…WTF?
- Finally realized what I had forgotten to bring: A roll of toilet paper. Granted, they had plenty, but still, I always feel better having a spare roll.
- The bathrooms got progressively worse and worse as the weekend progressed, but I’ve used outhouses, so no biggie.
- Second thing I forgot: an air mattress. I sleep on my side and my hip bone was constantly touching the ground as I slept…ow!
- The Mini Moon Pies were okay until the sun came out on Saturday, oh well.
- Trebuchets are cool.
- Everything felt inverted: I eventually purchased a badge to identify myself as being straight.
- The fursuit parade got moved FORWARD an hour? They know we’re OUTSIDE, right?
- Never been to a con that had two fursuit parades, so that was cool.
- Sat in on a International Anthropomorphic Research Project group chat and learned a little bit more about myself.
- Someone made an interesting point: we use funny animals to entertain our children and expect them to forget about them once they grow up.
- When I heard they were making stone soup, I got a mental image of people throwing Cheetos, Pocky and M&Ms into the pot.
- Judging how much heat is coming out of a propane stove in the middle of the day is tricky.
- When the wooden handle on your saucepan catches fire, there’s too much heat.
Smiles? What? Oh, its FIVE MILES, derp
My trip to Oklacon 2012 is now over and I had a fun time. Due to a lack of access to the tubes while I was there, everything is going up late, so ‘bear’ with me as I get caught up. 🙂
- I have to start off with the oddball store names I saw on US 281: “Aristacats,” “City Drug,” “Mr. Cut Rate,” “Stop-n-fetchum,” and “Feedlot Restaurant.” Best one? “Scooter’s Adult Bookstore.”
- If you are in a small town, isn’t it presumptuous to call yourself a National Bank?
- Taking the scenic route was a good idea, lots of beautiful country to see.
- “Mountaintop Land Bargains” – not sure if company name or actually selling land on mountain tops.
- If the speed limit sign outside of a town has a red border around it, it means they ain’t fooling around!
- Best thing ever: “Pie happy hour”
- I was so happy to finally see a “Speed Limit 75MPH” sign.
- I think my heart skipped a beat when I first realized my cell phone signal was gone and it wasn’t coming back for 3 days.
- Passed by a store called “The Store.” And I thought the HEB marketing department was lazy.
- I’ve seen town names on water towers, but a silo? I guess you have to work with what you have.
- Stuck behind a slow pickup after about two hours, surprised it took that long.
- A restaurant named “Hamburger Hill?” REALLY?
- I saw a bunch of classic cars pass by at a stop light in a small town. It must have been Homecoming Night.
- Cutting horses? Its a cry for help, methinks.
- Dear Dairy Queen, please make all of your restaurants like the nice one south of Mineral Wells. Thanks.
- “Keep Mineral Wells crazy?” Maybe they should have a furcon. NOTE: The next few are after I entered OK.
- “Bridge ices before road?” Thanks for the science lesson, roadsign.
- A lot of casinos here, hmm.
- Dafuq are ‘jake brakes’ and ‘engine brake?’
- When I first saw a 25MPH speed limit in a little town, I expected to see a horse-drawn buggy somewhere. I never did so I concluded that they were just being jerks.
HERE WE GO!
Finally, after all those months, weeks, and days of waiting, the day is here! As you read this, I am on the road and expect to be there for the lion’s share of the day
I will drive 500 miles
One of the bigger challenges of my trip to Oklacon is going to be the drive: according to Yahoo Maps, the shortest route from San Antonio is more-or-less a 500 mile straight shot up US Highway 281 to Roman Nose State Park. While I will be bypassing the messes to be found in Austin and the Dallas-Fort Worth Metroplex, there will instead be lots of stopping at lots of small towns along the way.
Being from a small town myself, I’m okay with that. It is going to be nice to be out on the road seeing things besides gas stations and fast-food joints. Also, given my intolerance for spending long times in the car, there will also be plenty of opportunities to stop for rest, drink, food, and attending to certain biological needs. 🙂
This will be the first true test of my new vehicle. Just going to Houston was a pain in my 2005 Dodge Neon (aka The Reliant) and I was not looking forward to taking longer trips in it. I’m hoping that the increased interior space and more comfortable seating found in my 2012 Honda CR-V (aka The Excelsior) will make the trip more pleasant.
The thought of the fun to be had at my destination should be enough to keep me going, but if all else fails, there’s always coffee.