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Learn-O-Stat

Awhile back, the apartment complex where I live sent out surveys to everyone. I filled mine out to complain about the garbage not being picked up in a timely fashion. I usually go home to have lunch, and lately, the garbage I left by the stairs at 730 AM is still there at noon. Eww.

One question on the survey that piqued my interest was “How can we help you save energy?” I’d like to say I thought about it out of altruism (you know, “save the planet” and all that) but the truth was, I was trying to spend less cash so that there would be more left for Fun Stuff. For what its worth, I do recycle my newspapers, plastic grocery store bags, and soda cans.

I thought to myself: “What uses up the most juice?” Since this is South Texas, the answer was quite simple: The Air Conditioner! Despite leaving it off when I was not home, and using fans to help keep the apartment cool, I was somewhat shocked to find my electric bill jumped to $82 in July. But what could I do about the A/C?

On a hunch, I figured that installing a digital thermostat would save electricity for two reasons: first, it would allow me to exactly determine how high I can raise it and still be comfortable, and second, it would actually work as advertised, since the existing one was probably as old as the building and perhaps didn’t work as well as it used to.

I smiled at my ingenuity, dropped the survey in the mail, and forgot all about it.

Then, one day, I returned home from work to find a new digital thermostat installed on the wall. I was pleasantly surprised, even more so when I discovered that the installer left no instructions on how to actually use the thing. Fortunately, my Google-fu is strong, and I was able to find the instructions out there on the tubes. For the most part, it worked just like the old one, but has all these neat buttons that I’m pretty sure do something. I never did bother to program it, though.

I figured I would be happy if my electric bill dropped five or ten bucks or so. After all, it didn’t cost me anything to have it installed, so any savings would be gravy. I continued to use the A/C as I had before, thinking that any change in habits would break the experiment.

I got about $24 worth of gravy in one month: that $82 electric bill for July (719 KWh) turned into a $58 electric bill (561 KWh) in August. Granted, it is a one-month comparison, and there were 2 fewer days in the August billing period, but I will gladly take the 21% decrease in electrical usage and the cash!

I don’t know if the trend will continue, but for now, I’m pretty happy. Thanks, apartment people!

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My Familiar Face

I apparently look like a lot of people (or do they look like me?) because at least once a month, I get asked if I am somebody else. Its pretty disorienting, especially when I am enjoying a sandwich at a and someone in fatigues walks up to me and asks if I was in so-and-so unit at base so-and-so…

My response: “I’ve never even been in the military…SIR!”

Its just weird, but I can’t help but think that there’s gotta be a way to turn it to my advantage somehow.

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You Only Spam The Ones You Love

I HATE SPAM.

Yeah, yeah, I know, big whoop, who doesn’t…but I’m not talking about the spam that promises cheap meds, or that king in wherever-it-is who fled the country and needs help getting his money, or the stock WHOSE VALUE IS ABOUT EXPLODE IN JUST A FEW DAYS SO BUY IT NOW!!! Mmm…no.

I can deal with that stuff, spam filters have gotten pretty good these days.

I’m talking about the stupid chain-letters and the stupid collections of “inspiring” or funny images (except for lolcats, they’re alright) and the stupid cutesy messages that well-intentioned friends send. What pisses me off even more is when I get them on my cell phone. Jokes are fine but NO FARKING WAY am I forwarding a message to ten other people because it says “IF U LUV JEBUS SND 2 10 FRNDS K THX BYE” I’d like to think The Almighty has better things to do than count the number of texts I’ve been sending. Also, I barely have ten friends now and so I’d like to hang onto them, thank you very much. (not true, but just I couldn’t resist the setup)

What bothers me isn’t that the spam is coming from friends. What bothers me is that these supposed friends are sending me crap instead of an ACTUAL message of some sort. Even if it is just “HOW U DOIN” or “DNT WRY BE HAPY ” I’d much rather get a personal message that someone put some effort into (even if it was thirty seconds of effort) instead of the same shit that everyone else and their dog is getting. I knew one person that pulled this crap for several months and when I got a new cell phone number, I sure as fark didn’t give it to him.

As a general rule, if the list of recipients is longer than the message itself, its going directly to Binary Hell!

No passing Go, no collecting $200…straight to BINARY FUCKING HELL.

Arrgh!

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I’m Walkin’

Its been an interesting week, and its barely Tuesday!

I dropped my car off at the dealership this morning to get some work done; new brake pads for the front wheels, an oil change, and this year’s inspection sticker. The dealer’s shuttle then dropped me off at work. The original plan was to hitch a ride in the afternoon to pick it up, and be on my merry way knowing the Reliant would stop when I wanted it to.

Needless to say, The Plan got thrown out the window at about 4:45…

I get a call at about that time from the guy from the service department. I figured it was good news, my car was ready to go…BUT as it turns out, while changing the oil, they found a transmission fluid leak. Well, nuts. The good news was that since the car is still under warranty, the fix will not cost me anything. The bad news? No car until tomorrow. Crap.

I leave the dealer with my apartment keys instead of my car (note to self, give them the spare key next time) and I decided that I would walk to work tomorrow morning. I probably could call in a favor and get a lift, but I’ve actually thought about doing this before, especially since its not too too far away. According to Google Maps, its about .83 miles, so I’ll be getting up bright and early tomorrow. If all goes well, I’ll get there before it gets too warm out, and I’ll hit up a coworker for a lift to pick up the Reliant hopefully during lunch or after work.

Should be fun!

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The Lump That Roared

I wake up Saturday morning to find a bruise on the inside of my foot about 3-4 inches long. Strangely enough, it doesn’t hurt, but as I am diabetic, I freak out and decide to see the doctor ASAP. I am fortunate enough to get an appointment on Monday afternoon and ask for a half day off. On my way to the doctor, I’m stopped and waiting for traffic to ease up so I can jump onto the freeway, and then: THUNK!

I got love-tapped from behind by some idiot, I cross my fingers and hope there isn’t any damage to the Reliant as I turn on my flashers and to try to position my car so that others can get by. I get out to confront the other driver (or rather the guy the gal driving was with). Luckily, the car looks just fine, I can’t find any indication of damage, and I felt none the worse for wear, so I got the other driver’s name, phone number and license plate, just in case, and went on my merry way…I figured I had bigger fish to fry at the Doctor’s and I didn’t want to be late.

I arrive at the Doctor’s office not terribly late, albeit a little shaky from the hit I took in the car earlier. The doctor eventually comes in and I explain the situation to him. He has a look at my foot, pokes around a bit, and notices some slight bruising on the lower part of my shin that I hadn’t noticed before.

He then ask me if I had banged my foot on anything recently…I said not my foot, but I did knock the hell out of my shin two Sundays ago on a friend’s car (much to his delight, farking sadist) and it bruised up pretty good. Heck, for the rest of the day it looked as if I had a second knee growing out of my leg.

It turns out that when something like that happens, it can take awhile for the blood inside the bruise to travel down the leg, and when it does, it can pool in certain areas, like the inside of your foot. (ta-da!) He then said it would go away with time, there is nothing to see here, and that will be $25 for the co-pay. I bought up the hum-dinger I had on the way there, but he said I should be alright.

I think my friend owes me twenty-five bucks.

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Waiting Inside The Box

I’m not sure which is worse: waiting for the cable guy to arrive to install your cable or waiting for the UPS guy to bring your package. To me, the anticipation is like waiting for Christmas or a birthday when you’re a kid. You know something good is coming, and you just can’t wait for the day to get there.

The main difference, though, is that you know when Christmas or that birthday is going to arrive. The Cable or UPS Guy give you the day, you don’t know the exact time they’re going to show up.

I guess UPS is the worse of the two. Unless you’re really unlucky (or piss off the CSR) the Cable Guy usually gives you a four or six-hour window, but UPS might come at any time of the whole lousy DAY. Of course, Randomizer’s Dumb Luck® means the UPS guy didn’t show up while I was at work, there is no surprise waiting for me when I get home.

So instead of tearing open my new Rock Band drums like a sleep-deprived, sugar-fueled kid on Christmas morning, I sit waiting to hear the diesel-rumble of the UPS truck. I quickly glance outside the window every time I think I see a vehicle pass through my peripheral vision. All the while precious minutes that could be spent rocking tick away. Of course, this is after I spent the day at work refreshing the UPS website every 30 minutes or so waiting for those damnable words “OUT FOR DELIVERY” to go away.

Its enough to make a man go mad!

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Crispy on the Outside…

Today I went to Lake Corpus Christi in order to spend some time with the family, go swimming, eat some barbecue, and all that good stuff. As usual, I refused sunscreen on the grounds that “I could use some sun.” I’m pretty sure you can figure out what happened next.

I’m not “Lobster-Man” burned, but I’m burned enough to where I can feel it. Nothing says “good night’s sleep” like feeling like you have heat radiating from your body. I’ll be cranking up the ceiling fan tonight.

Windows Vista finally bit me in the pants, or rather Pinnacle Systems did. The version of their video-editing software that I own is at ‘end of life’ which means they are no longer working on it, and there is no Vista-compatible version. I can’t even install the blasted thing, when I try, the language changes.

Sadly, my current company has the opposite problem; they refuse to stop supporting old versions of their software long after they should have stopped. I’m hope they’re making lots of money off it, because supporting stuff that was written in the last millennium sucks.

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“The Single Guy”

I currently work in tech support, and there are four of us total on the phones. We try to always have at least two people available to answer the phone. Two of the other folks have kids, and the other is going to school and is currently engaged. This makes me “The Single Guy.”

Being “The Single Guy” means when someone else has an early class, or has take a kid to some activity, or some other kid or school-related stuff to do, I always get asked first whether I can trade shifts. Apparently, being “The Single Guy” means whatever I happen to have scheduled for that day isn’t important; I can just cancel all my plans at the drop of a hat. If it wasn’t such a small group I would refuse, but then I become “The Selfish Single Jerk Who Won’t Trade Shifts Because He Hates Babies.”

I really hate being “The Single Guy” but given that I’m also “The Nice Guy” there really isn’t much I can do, except find another job. Needless to say, I’ve already started on that…

Well, it turned out I don’t have to swap shifts after all, guess I can add “The Lucky Guy” to that list 🙂

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Billy, Could You Lose My Number

I’ve had my cell phone for a few months now, and for some time I have had to endure people calling me and asking for someone I presume is whomever had the number before I did. OK, fine. I can deal with that, but it gets really farking annoying after awhile.

At first, I was polite, but with each successive call from this idiot’s idiot friends, my patience wore thinner and thinner. It got to the point where I would say only three things to these micro-brained nimrods: “Hello,” “This is the wrong number,” and “Bye.” If they were dumb enough (and a few were) to ask “Are you sure??” they didn’t get the “Bye” because I would hang up right there and then. I already get my Recommended Daily Allowance of Vitamin Stupid at work, I don’t need extra.

Much to my relief, the calls asking for Mr. Dorko McDimwit eventually stopped.

Until today. Now the fools are asking for somebody ELSE.

-palms forehead-

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