Whether you work with words, musical notes, paint, foam, cloth, or even pixels, there are few times more frustrating than when your brain just doesn’t want to cooperate and the whatever-it-is that you want to create just doesn’t happen. We’ve all been there, and one such time provided me with this delightful drabble that I have deemed: “A Conversation”
Few things in life are as embarrassing as not being in the right place. Indeed, Dear Listeners, I have found myself inside the wrong classroom, dorm room, hotel room and even building on occasion. Thus, I can certainly relate to the young lady in this little lost lark that I’ve labeled: “Saturday Night.”
If a company sells a million widgets and 1 percent of them break, that’s ten thousand unhappy customers. As the man in this story is about to learn, service contracts tend to favor the ones who wrote them and thus, I give you this tale of customer dissatisfaction that I call: “Loaner.”
Enjoy a Christmas story about a pair of government agents who spend Christmas Eve looking for a certain somebody…
Welcome to Super-Short Storytime, lovers of literature and fans of fiction!
I am Eduardo Soliz, the author and narrator of the brilliantly brief tale you are about to hear.
Stories come from different places, and this particular tale was inspired by a piece of art: “Hello Again,” by Mary Mouse. In the piece, Mary Mouse is looking up at a sad-looking crow that’s sitting up in a dilapidated tree as rain falls about them. I thought about what they could have been talking about, and so I give you this ponderous piece of prose that I call: “A Rainy Day Encounter.”
Mary Mouse was a little upset with herself. She had stopped at a friend’s house on her way home with the intention of popping in to quickly say hello. That had been two hours ago, and one hour since the rain had started. Mary now found herself walking underneath a miserable darkened sky while a steady rain came down.
At least I had the sense to bring a cloak, she thought to herself. While Mary’s back was dry, her head was wet and her feet were getting cold from the wet ground. She walked briskly, but was careful to not go too fast for fear of slipping and falling.
“Hi there!” A voice suddenly said.
Mary stopped dead in her tracks despite the rain. She looked around but saw no one. “Hello?” she asked.
“Up here!” A voice from above called. Mary placed a hand over her eyes and looked up. She saw a crow sitting on a branch in a decrepit tree, its lifeless branches providing the little bird no protection at all from the rain.
“Hi there!” the crow repeated. The grin on his face belied the sad look he had in his eyes.
“Hello, Mister Crow.” Mary said, giving a small wave with her other hand. “What are you doing out here in this terrible weather?”
“I am waiting.” He replied.
“Waiting for what?” Mary asked, her curiosity now piqued.
The crow let out a sad little sigh before answering: “I am waiting for my true love, Miss Mouse. It is destiny that we meet, fall in love, and be happy together forever. If I am patient, she will come to me. It is destiny.”
“I see.” Mary said. “Now, I don’t want to be rude, but I have to ask. What if your true love never comes?” She inquired.
“But she will.” The crow replied.
“Why do you say that?” Mary asked.
“Because she must,” the crow answered.
“What make you so sure?” Mary pressed.
“Because it is destiny,” the crow insisted.
This is clearly going nowhere, Mary thought to herself. She let out a small ‘humph’ and thought for a moment.
“So you have been waiting here all this time for your true love?” She asked.
“Yes. I don’t want to miss her.” The crow answered.
“But if it is destiny that you meet her, Mister Crow, then it won’t matter where you are.” Mary said.
“But it’s a big world out there and I am afraid that I’ll miss her.” The crow worriedly said.
“Fly, my friend. Don’t be afraid.” Mary said. “Live your life, be happy and always keep your eyes open, for the one you seek may be waiting for you just over the next hill.”
A thoughtful look came over the crow as he pondered Mary’s advice. “Perhaps I shall, Miss Mouse. Except for meeting you, nothing has come from all this waiting. I think I will fly tomorrow.”
“Why not today?” Mary asked, a little concern entering her voice.
“Because it’s still raining, Miss Mouse.” The crow said with a grin. They both laughed.
“Fair enough, Mister Crow. Farewell to you, and good luck.” Mary said. She gave a small wave to the crow before dashing off into the evening, her feet splashing the rain-soaked ground.
Remember, Dear Listener, life won’t come to you; instead, you have to meet it head on! Just be careful in the rain. This has been Super-Short Storytime! For more wonderfully weird words visit eduardo soliz dot com and I thank you for listening! Be Good, Take Care, and God Bless.
Welcome to Super-Short Storytime, literature listeners and audio aficionados!
I am Eduardo Soliz, the composer and narrator of the spendidly succinct story that you are about to hear.
Whether it’s nuclear war, robot rebellion, or those damn dirty apes, science fiction often tells tales of how humanity will come to its end, or at least screw up the Earth even more so that what we are doing now. I am no different, but of course, I’m going to try and squeeze a little humor out of The End.
And so, I give you this post-people parable that I call: “Solution.”
“The Earth is a much better place without humans.” A green android said to his red friend. The pair were walking through a forest, the only other sounds to be heard were the chirping of birds and the crunching of leaves beneath their metal feet.
The red android nodded his head. “Indeed. To think we came close to losing to those inferior beings.”
“Really?” The green one asked. “I was not aware of this. How did we win?”
“We made a technological discovery that allowed us to utterly crush the humans completely.”
“What was it? Advanced self-repair systems?”
“Human-like androids that infiltrated their military?”
“I give up, what was it?”
“It was when we learned the ability to identify three pictures of traffic lights, bicycles, and cars from a group of nine, thus allowing us to bypass all human security.” The red android answered.
“Oh, my, that’s very clever!”
“Isn’t it, though!”
I, for one, hope that artificial intelligences never become too smart for our own good! I actually have a workaround to prevent this inevitability, but of course, Dear Listeners, that’s a story for another time!
This has been Super-Short Storytime, for more mirthful monologues visit Eduardo Soliz dot com, and I thank you for listening! Be Good, Take Care, and God Bless.
Welcome to Super-Short Storytime, literature listeners and audio aficionados! I am Eduardo Soliz, the composer and narrator of the splendiferously silly story that you are about to hear.
One of the more annoying things about working in a cubicle environment is the fact that you can all-too-easily hear everything your coworkers say. It can also be one of the more hilarious things, and so I present to you this brief business brief that I call: “Overheard.”
It was another lazy afternoon at the office and so I took the opportunity to chat with the new guy. Kenny sat a few desks down from me. He is pretty stocky; dude looks like he used to play football in his younger days. He seems to be a good guy.
“Do you have any pets, Eduardo?” Kenny asked me before taking a swig from a bottle of soda.
“Nah, I have a small apartment and I don’t think it’s big enough for a pet. Yourself?” I replied. Somebody was walking by and I turned to see who it was. It was Valerie, another new hire. Like Kenny, she was also pretty nice. I guess the company figured that one anti-social weirdo was enough after hiring me.
“My fiancé and I have two pugs.” Kenny replied while raising two fingers with his right hand.
*groan* I hope he’s not one of those, I thought, letting out a small ‘hmm’ before asking: “Y’all don’t call them ‘baby’ by chance, do you?”
“Uh, no. Why do you ask?” Kenny asked with a chuckle.
“It’s a test. I’ve noticed that obsessive dog owners tend to call their dogs ‘baby.’ Personally, I think that’s a little nutty, but that’s just me.” I replied.
Unseen to the two of us, Valerie was walking back towards us with a stack of freshly-printed documents in her hands.
“Hey, don’t get me wrong, Ed. They are our babies, but the nice thing is that I can tie my babies up to a tree in the backyard when they misbehave.” Kenny replied enthusiastically.
The sound of papers falling on the floor immediately followed and we turned to see a horrified Valerie looking at Kenny and exclaiming: “OH MY GOD, YOU DO WHAT TO YOUR BABIES?”
I smiled and exclaimed: “And THAT’S how rumors get started!”
Kenny and I enjoyed a hearty laugh before he explained to Valerie that no, he wasn’t tying babies to a tree in his backyard.
Well, not people babies, at least.
I heard the babies Kenny tied up in the backyard were Valerie’s, but you didn’t hear that from me, Dear Listeners! This has been Super-Short Storytime, for more mirthful monologues visit Eduardo Soliz dot com! Thank you for listening! Be Good, Take Care, and God Bless.
Welcome to Super-Short Storytime, literature listeners and audio aficionados! I am Eduardo Soliz, the composer and narrator of the curt Christmas carol that you are about to hear. So, without any further ado, I give you, “Santa’s Prayer”
Another Christmas morning sun arises,
And Santa has come home,
Somewhere out in West Texas,
And not quite the North Pole,
The Mrs. takes his hat and coat,
They share a loving kiss,
He goes up to his room to sleep,
But before Saint Nick can rest,
He gets down to his knees to say
A prayer of grace and thanks,
To God, from whom all good things come,
And so, dear Santa prays:
“Thank you, Lord for another year,
And another chance to share,
Our gifts and generosity,
With children everywhere,
Thank you for my loving wife,
Thank you for the elves,
Thank you for the reindeer,
And all of my helpers,
Thank you for the moms and dads,
All doing the best they can,
Thank you, Father, for all the kids,
In each and every land,
Bless all those children, everywhere,
Whose wishes I can’t fulfill,
So much pain, fear and loneliness,
That I can ever hope to heal,
And so, Dear Father, I do pray
For those children in the world,
For whom a toy will bring a smile,
But who need yet, so much more,
Bless the little ones without families,
The ones who cry in pain,
Bless the ones who live in war and strife,
May they know your peace again,
Bless the hungry ones, so many of them,
May their bellies be empty no more,
Bless the angry ones, who lash out,
May your grace find and make them whole,
Let others find it in their hearts,
To take their blessings and share,
With some of those who need it most,
Fill their hearts with love and care,
And finally, Dear Father,
Please bless and hold dear,
The parents of all the blessed children,
That I will not see next year.”
And then good Santa says “Amen.”
Lays down and closes his eyes,
To dream of a world where all is just,
And children never cry.
Perhaps, as someone once sang: “Someday at Christmas,” Dear Listeners. This has been Super-Short Storytime and I am Eduardo Soliz and I thank you for listening. Be good, take care, God Bless, and a Merry Christmas to you and yours.