Category Archives: RANDOMIZER9.COM

Books, CREATIVE, FlipSide Stories, JUST SAYING, One Sheet Stories, RANDOMIZER9.COM, WHISKEY-TANGO-FOXTROT, WORDS, Writing

What the ****

Most of my stories are written for a general audience, and so I try to avoid the use of swear words in my short stories.  I also believe that cursing is for the uncreative and unoriginal.  Think about it: haven’t we all cussed at one time or another because we “couldn’t think of anything better?”  The problem is that there are instances where cursing just works really well and is even expected at times.

Case in point: I am currently writing a story that involves pirates…IN SPAAAACE!   Just like any other self-respecting pirates, these scurvy dogs (really, they’re pirate DOGS) spit, belch, don’t bathe, threaten harmless people (or cats as the case may be) and should probably swear like sailors.  Thus, I have a few options:

1)  Say ‘f*** it’ and use real swear words in my story, which I don’t really want to do.

2)  Borrow not-quite-swear-words from other works of fiction, like ‘frak’ from BattleStar Galactica, but I don’t want to do this either because its well, unoriginal, and I know I’m setting myself to get stuck in some “THERE’S NO FURRIES IN BATTLESTAR GALACTICA” debate down the road.

3)  Use common words.  This method was used often by one of my favorite writers, Isaac Asimov.  When a swear was needed, his characters would say things like “Space!” or “Stars and galaxies!”

4)  Just make stuff up.  This is obviously the hardest one, because I’m essentially inventing new words, and I’d like for them to make sense and not look like a random jumble of letters.

I am going with #3 with a varying degree of success, and who knows, I may invent some new pseudo-cuss words, especially at work, but for now I’ll just have to punt and pepper my story with <SWEAR WORD> placeholders until I think of something better.

Crap.

Standard
Books, BUSINESS, CREATIVE, One Sheet Stories, RANDOMIZER9.COM, TECH, TECH SUPPORT, The Rules of Tech Support, Writing

FREE-book!

UPDATE: The free promotion for “The Rules of Tech Support is now over, but you can still get “One Sheet Stories” for free!

My second e-book “The Rules of Tech Support” is available for free today via Amazon Kindle devices and software, and of course, you can always get “One Sheet Stories” for FREE here!”

Standard
AETHERFEST, CONS, RANDOMIZER9.COM, STEAMPUNK, WHATS GOING ON

Aetherfest: The Unconventional Convention

Aetherfest attendees

Come one, come all!

While there are lots of things to like about fan conventions like the upcoming Texas ComicCon and San Japan, there are a lot of things not to like about them, too: crowded hallways, long lines, overexcited sugar-and-energy-drink-fueled teens running around everywhere and the eventual feeling of ‘been there, done that.’

If you’re tired of the same old convention scene and want to check out something different, I strongly suggest dropping by Aetherfest in San Antonio this weekend.  “Texas’ First Steampunk Convention” is taking place at the St. Anthony Hotel and will feature a host of activities, vendors and guests for all to enjoy.  For the uninitiated, “steampunk” is an odd mash-up of speculative fiction, science fiction, alternate history, and fantasy…set in Victorian times.  That’s the best way I can put it, you just have to see it.

Based on my experience attending last year, Aetherfest is very different than your typical fan convention.  The Steampunk audience slants a bit older, so there aren’t as many hyperactive kids running around, the con organizers are capping attendance at 500 in order to prevent overcrowding, and as there is no truly ‘definitive’ Steampunk work of fiction, just about everything that will be presented there will be original.  In fact, I can say with confidence that you will see many things that you have not seen before at Aetherfest.

In addition, the St. Anthony Hotel fits the aesthetic perfectly, you will feel as if you have stepped into another place and time at Aetherfest.  A more civilized time where lords and ladies spoke proper English, paraded around in elaborate outfits, and exotic devices bought to life by the not-quite-understood power of aether were in abundance.

One-day passes can be purchased for $30 or a weekend pass is $60.  For more details go to http://facebook.com/aetherfest or http://www.sanvaonline.com/aetherfest

I look forward to making your acquaintance there!

Standard
BUSINESS, JUST SAYING, RANDOMIZER9.COM, TECH, WHATS GOING ON

Dear River City Federal Credit Union…

UPDATE:  I received a call from the CEO of River City Federal Credit Union the afternoon after sending the email below and apparently their e-statement system is down due to some upgrades they are in the process of implementing.  Nice.

Everything is going to be sorted out as far as I’m concerned, but I have to admit to rolling my eyes when I was being told about how wonderful the system was going to be in the future.  I mean, seriously, it isn’t working right now so I could care less about TEH FUTURE!  So for the moment, its ‘all’s well that ends well’ but we shall see how things work out after they get everything done and (hopefully) working.  I am cautiously optimistic.

I joined River City FCU last year partially because I was tired of  ‘business as usual’ with banks.  I had hoped that joining a local credit union would provide a better overall experience and looked forward to supporting a local business.  While your people have been great, your technology has been sorely lacking, especially where e-statements are concerned.  Not only did I miss my March statement but after contacting RCFCU via the online system, I was told over a week ago that a statement would be mailed to me and I have yet to receive it.  I have also cancelled my e-statements so that I don’t have to go through this mess for the near future and am no longer receiving REWARD Checking benefits because I have to choose between those benefits or not receiving my statements in a timely fashion which is an inconvenience.

This is inexcusable.  This is the 21st century and if you want to compete with other credit unions to say nothing of the big banks then you need to accept the fact that keeping an important system like eStatements down for more than hours in UNACCEPTABLE.  As much distaste as I have developed for banks, at least their online systems have always worked and as much as I hate to admit it, I may find myself going back to them (or at least another credit union) just so that I don’t have to worry about not having access to my information because a tube popped in the mainframe.

Thank you.

Eduardo Soliz

Standard
COMICS, JUST SAYING, RANDOMIZER9.COM

I AM EDUARDO, DESTROYER OF COMICS!

Magnus Robot FIghter cover art

We barely knew you...AGAIN

Archie Comics is going to give a go at resurrecting their superhero characters again, but instead of handing the reins over to DC Comics again (as they did in the 90’s with !mpact Comics as well as more recently) they are going it alone this time under the also resurrected Red Circle Comics imprint.  The New Crusaders is going to feature a group of teen superheroes that pick up the mantle from their famous forebearers under the tutelage of The Shield.  Sounds like it could be a nice ‘light read’ to add to my virtual pull-box over at Comic Break.com, but I won’t be reading it.

I won’t be reading  it because I want Archie Comics to stay in business.  Seriously.

I have developed a knack for reading comics that just don’t last for very long and have even had entire companies go out from under me.  Here’s the hit list so far.

  • Tekno Comix
  • Malibu Comics/Ultraverse
  • Valiant Comics
  • Impact Comics
  • Dreamwave Productions

And the books:

  • ExoSquad (only one issue!)
  • Buck Rogers XXVc by TSR Comics
  • William Shatner’s TekWar (twice!  Once at Epic and another at Blue Water)
  • The Tick New Series
  • DC’s recent reboot of the Red Circle characters
  • Dark Horse’s reboot of Magnus Robot Fighter and Solar Man of the Atom

Those are just the ones I can name off the top of my head, I’m sure if I go through my comic boxes I can find the remains of other promising books that I had liked but in doing so also gave them the  kiss of death.

If I didn’t know any better, I think I just might be a supervillain.  But yeah, I actually like Archie Comics and I’m already pressing their luck by reading their current Mega Man comic, so I don’t want to tempt fate even more.  Just sayin’.

Standard
COMICS, CREATIVE, RANDOMIZER9.COM, WORDS, Writing

Arc-Less

Godzilla Legends #1 Cover

RAWR!

I added Godzilla Legends to my pull box (or whatever Comic Break calls it) mainly out of curiosity.  The series was supposed to feature some of the other giant stars of the Godzilla universe.  I had never read a Godzilla comic before and except for watching “Godzilla vs. MechaGodzilla” at the first Fanboy Flix a few months ago, I haven’t seen a movie starring Japan’s mean green machine in years.  Thus, I am hardly an expert in regards to the care and feeding of giant monsters, or ‘kaiju’ to use the proper term.  Despite that, I thought I’d give it a shot.

I got my first issue a few weeks later.  It was a fun read and Matt Frank’s art provided plenty of monster mashing action.  But there was something different waiting for me at the end of the comic.

It was the end of the story.  One and done.  That was it.  No cliffhanger or big reveal or plot twist to coax me into buying the next issue in 30 days.  Instead, there would be a completely new story with a new monster in the next issue.  I had no commitment to keep, I could stop where I was at and not spend the rest of my days wondering if Godzilla and Anguirus ever kissed and made up.

I kept the subscription and a month later, the second issue dropped.  I read it, enjoyed it, and eagerly waited for each new one to arrive.  There was something about reading a single issue of a comic book with a self-contained story that I had not experienced in years.  It took me back to when I read comics as a kid, before multi-issue story arcs and epic crossovers turned comics into big soap operas.  Seriously, even the new Mega Man comic I’m reading goes from one arc to the next, and that one is published by Archie Comics.

It is easy to write off the feeling as nostalgia, but what I really miss is the anticipation of not knowing what is coming in the next issue.  If I am reading a comic that ends with a cliffhanger, then I’m left spending the next month or so guessing just what is going to happen next.  If the story I’m reading comes to a complete end, though, I have no idea what is going to be in that next book.

I like that.  It’s sometimes fun to not know.

Standard
Books, ChimaeraCon, CONS, CREATIVE, FlipSide Stories, RANDOMIZER9.COM, WHATS GOING ON, Writing

What’s Going On

MATT FRANK, Y U DESTROY SAN ANTONIO?

Cover art at right by the irrevocable Matt Frank!

The first in a series of (hopefully) funny YouTube videos called “High Tech Things Said by Low Tech People” is now up.  Check it out!

I’m looking forward to a fun-filled time at ChimaeraCon 2012 this weekend.  I will be in Artist’s Alley handing out flyers and yammering to anyone who will listen about “The Rules of Tech Support”and my other e-books.

Speaking of ‘other e-books,’ my third one, titled “FlipSide Stories” is now available on Amazon.com and BarnesandNoble.com!

FlipSide Stories is a collection of five very short stories with  Twilight Zone-ish endings:

A customer discovers that “Future Service” isn’t really for him.

A young woman spends another “Saturday Night” alone in a bar where something isn’t quite right with the patrons.

There are nerds, there are geeks, and then there is the “Freako”.

A cosplayer can’t figure out what to wear and must come to a “Decision”.

A man reunites with a crush from his college years, but “Betty’s Baby” has a surprise for him.

Standard
BUSINESS, RANDOMIZER9.COM, WHATS GOING ON, WHISKEY-TANGO-FOXTROT

ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED: Mad as Hell at Insurance Company

My car after being repaird

Looks nice, but it'll be an oven come August

This is a follow up to my original post, click here to read it.

3/21/2012 UPDATE :  After taking it to a real mechanic, it turns out that the A/C wasn’t working because there was a bad hose that had to be replaced. While they don’t believe it was caused by the accident, it means that Progressive’s grease monkeys misdiagnosed a problem TWO TIMES.  I will definitely be shopping for a new insurance provider now.

For the most part, my experience with Progressive has been fairly positive, except for a few bumps in the road: they had me send my car to the wrong repair shop, the repair shop they did send it to incorrectly diagnosed the alternator as being bad when the battery was the issue, it wasn’t ready on the day I was told it was going to be ready, and despite not being found at fault, I am out $500 for my deductible, but that’s a philosophical issue I’ll discuss some other time.

Now, call me crazy (you wouldn’t be the first) but I thought part of the point of having insurance was so that your vehicle would be restored back to the state it was in before it was involved in an accident. Except for running a bit noisy due to an issue with the manifold, everything in my car had been working just fine before I had my little accident a few weeks ago. Indeed, upon getting my vehicle back, I was satisfied to find that it seemed to run as well as it did before. I also checked to see if a new battery had been installed, and yes, it had been.  I had grown suspicious after realizing that my radio presets hadn’t gone away as has been the case in the past when I have replaced batteries.

So everything was fine and dandy until I hop in my car to go somewhere on Sunday. It was warm out, about 80 degrees, so I figured I’d turn on the air conditioner to give it a test run. Air came out of the air conditioner but it was not much cooler than the air outside. I left the air conditioner on for the duration of the short trip and there wasn’t much happening. Now I’m worried, because if the battery went bad due to the accident, who’s to say that something else didn’t go wrong somewhere within all the coils, tubes and who-knows-what-else that make up the air conditioning system?

I don’t go running to Progressive just yet, though. Monday was also going to be a warm day, so I figured I’d give it another test run before calling them. I started up my car during my lunch break, at about 1 in the afternoon on another warm day and I ran it for about ten minutes with the air conditioner set to maximum. It seemed as if it was trying, but the air coming out was not cooler than the air outside. As it was a warm day, it was easy to tell that it was not working.

I now knew for sure that the air conditioner wasn’t working, so it was time to contact Progressive and get it looked at. I scheduled an appointment to drop off my car this morning and pick up a rental. The temperatures on Thursday morning were pretty cool, in the mid-60s; thus, I wasn’t entirely sure that the cool air coming into my car at the time wasn’t just the product of the outside air combined my not-quite-warmed-up car, but I was now certain that my air conditioner wasn’t working as well as it had been before.

I arrived at the claims center and let the person there know what was happening. The woman said that they were going to have someone check it out and then let me know how we were going to proceed. I said okay and waited for her to return. Not even fifteen minutes later, she came back and let me know that they were not going to look at it. Apparently I had given the impression that my air conditioner was completely out, and since the air coming out was just a little bit cool (which may have been due to the outside temperature) I was going to have to get it fixed myself. She cheerfully let me know that it probably just needed refrigerant and that any mechanic could probably fix it.

But it was WORKING JUST FINE before the accident, I said. She ignored that statement, gave me my key back, and bade me farewell.

I am not very happy with Progressive right now. I now have to take time and money to have a real mechanic check my car’s air conditioner. If he finds something wrong, I then have to convince Progressive that there was no problem with it before the accident, then drop it off, get another rental, and essentially go through the same thing I did this morning. As I type this, I am getting ready to talk to my claims rep and let them know how I feel about this development, but right now I am all but ready to dump them.

Half an hour later…

So I spoke with a second agent (the one that I’ve been working with is not in the office and I won’t hold that against her) who told me that I needed to have it looked at by a mechanic…

WELL, NO KIDDING, SHERLOCK, THAT’S WHY I TOOK IT TO YOU THIS MORNING!

Apparently, they don’t have mechanics at the claim centers. So some paper-pusher turned on my AC, felt cool air coming out (remember, it is a cool morning today) and used her 1337 paper-pusher skills to deduct that I had a Freon leak somewhere.  Aw, HELL NO.

Agent #2 is going to look into it and I now get to wait for his phone call.

Another thirty minutes later…

Agent #2 said that he was very sorry and let me know that yes, a mechanic did have a look at my car this morning  (as you can see above, I was not told that) and he was the one that said the AC was fine except for being low on Freon.  I told the guy that I was skeptical because the last shop couldn’t even properly diagnose a bad battery.  So now I need to take my car to a (hopefully competent) mechanic to look at my air conditioner.

So in the best case scenario, I get to pay to get my AC recharged with Freon, which I may have had to have done anyway.  Worst case scenario is that I get to deal with Progressive again and have their grease monkeys bang on it with giant wrenches.

I know that sounds backwards, but I think I’m going to be shopping for a new insurance company now.

Standard