You are listening to ‘300 Seconds with Eduardo Soliz,’ and this is episode number 98, “Job Search Blues: Recruiters and Staffing Agencies,” so let the 300 Seconds begin!

I will start off by saying that I’ve dealt with a bunch of recruiters over the course of my career. Some good, some bad, and of course, a bunch in between. Naturally, I consider the ones that got me a job “good ones” but at the same time there were a few that did a great job, even though ultimately, I didn’t end up getting the job. Of course, I’ll be focusing on the more sucky ones because, well, that’s more entertaining, and after two months of being out of work, I’m starting to get just a little stir-crazy, so on with the show.

I’ve established that looking for a job online kinda sucks and job fairs kinda suck too. Fortunately, you don’t have to go it alone! There are companies and people out there that will be more than happy to help you find a job…sort of.

Oh, recruiting agencies and their recruiters. If you’re online, you have have a pulse, and your work history is longer than five days, you’ve likely been e-mailed or called by a recruiter at some point in your career. These overly enthusiastic people will talk to you like they’re your best friend. Many are genuinely friendly, but at the same time, a lot them sound like car salesmen.

After introducing themselves, the recruiter will then ask if you are looking for a job. If you answer yes, then they’ll tell you about position and requirements, and where it’s at, how much it pays and all that wonderful stuff. Often, they’ll also send you an email with job details, and ask you to send back a current resume in response, and then you never ever, hear from them again, which kinda sucks.

It’s a lousy thing to do, it’s unprofessional, as well as a bunch of other mean things that I’d rather not say. I need to say that I don’t know how these people work. For all I know they’re calling fifty people a day and don’t have the time to call all them back to say ‘sorry, we don’t need you right now.’ I get that. At the same time, I’m pretty sure there is some kind of computerized system keeping track of all this stuff. If that computer would just send me an email saying : “Sorry, it didn’t work out,” that would be great. On the rare occasion when a recruiter DOES keep in touch after the fact, I make sure to let them know that I appreciate their professionalism. Sadly, that’s more the exception rather than the rule.

One thing that always throws me off is when I get multiple calls from different people at the same staffing agency within the same week. Once again, I don’t know how things work at those places. I don’t know if potential hires are assigned to a specific recruiter, but when that second guy or gal calls from the same recruiting agency, in my head I’m thinking: “Waitaminute, isn’t the first person already working with me?” The conversation usually gets a little bit awkward after that.

It’s also fun when they don’t bother to check if you aren’t already in their system. Had a fun talk with one of those lately. What made that situation even more maddeing was that I had actually WORKED for that agency years ago.

Equally annoying is when the recruiter does not read your online profile and tries to submit you for a job that you are clearly not qualified for. I have some interest in being a technical writer, so if an entry-level opportunity were to come about, or if someone was willing to give me a shot…HINT HINT…I’d take it. I have to wonder, though, about a recruiter that submits me for a tech writer role that requires years of experience, even after I send them my resume that indicates very little actual tech writing experience. Again, I don’t know how these people or these agencies work, so I wonder if they’re just trying to meet some quota when we go through those motions.

Lately, I’ve been getting a bunch of calls from recruiters that are from, to put it politely: “out of town.” I’ve been contacted by so many of them, at this point that I could set my watch to the routine: First, a phone call comes in from some random state. I tend to not answer out-of-state calls, so after about a minute or so, I find a voicemail waiting for me. Upon listening to the voicemail, I can very easily tell that the caller, to put it politely again, does not speak the language. I will confess to taking particular delight at how these people stumble over and completely mangle my name. I’ve gotten used to the gringo pronunciation of ‘Edwardo’ by now, but folks from a certain part of the world have no idea what to do with it. By the time I have listened to the voice mail, and deleted it, an email will have popped into one of my accounts from that same person featuring poor grammar and a position I have absolutely no interest in.

I then block the phone number, report that email address as spam, and wait for the process to repeat itself. Sorry guys, but no thanks, and I’d rather you not come again.

This has been 300 Seconds, the next episode will be posted after I add another phone number to the block list. I am Eduardo Soliz, check out Eduardo Soliz dot com for more podcasts and short fiction, and I thank you for listening!

Books, BUSINESS, Computers, CREATIVE, Eduardo Soliz, JUST SAYING, Nine to Five Lives, Podcasting, PODCASTS, Super-Short Storytime, TECH, WORDS, WORK, Writing

Super-Short Storytime: “The Pit of Success”

Welcome to Super-Short Storytime, lovers of literature and fans of fiction! I am Eduardo Soliz, the author and narrator of the fantastically frank tale that you are about to hear.

Like other folks who fashion fiction, inspiration for my stories often comes from real life. This particular tale was inspired my time spent in the corporate jungle. This story is part of “Nine to Five Lives,” a free e-book which can be downloaded from eduardosoliz.com, this big business brief bears the title of: “The Pit of Success”

Alan was particularly glad to be at work today. After months of working overtime, finishing projects ahead of schedule, and just a little bit of schmoozing, he had been deemed worthy to be promoted to work in “The Pit.” The Pit was a special area where the best of the best worked on secret projects that represented the future of the company.

As he struggled to hold up a cardboard box that held his personal items, Alan held his badge above the doorknob to the entrance to the Pit as he had been told. It was a nondescript door that he had walked by every day without ever thinking about what was inside. A click sounded as the lock released. Alan balanced the box on one hand and used his other one to quickly open the door.

He entered the room and closed the door behind him. But for a single light that was above him, the room was completely dark except for some blinking LED lights scattered about. A voice suddenly came from the ceiling. Alan recognized it as belonging to the supervisor that he had conducted a phone interview with the week before: “Leave that box by the door, Mister Johnson. You will not need those things here.” It said.

Alan did as he was instructed. He nervously looked around for somebody, but the office appeared to be unoccupied. As his eyes adjusted to the darkness, he saw rows upon rows of cubicles, just like in his previous office.

“Please proceed to your new cubicle, Mister Johnson.” The supervisor’s voice said. A small light turned on in the room. Alan started to make his way towards the light. As he passed by the other cubicles, he noticed that each one contained an egg-shaped pod just large enough to hold a person. Alan recognized a few of the names on the name tags as former coworkers that had been promoted before him, much to his chagrin.

“You have gone above and beyond your peers in your devotion to this company, Mister Johnson. You will now become a part of the company as you had desired. Take your seat and join us.” The voice said. Alan peered into the interior pod and hesitated.

“This isn’t what I had in mind. Does everyone have to sit in these…things, here?” Alan asked, looking up at the ceiling.

“It is necessary to make you part of the company. You are free to return to your previous position if you wish. We can always find somebody else to fill this position.” The voice answered.

Hell, no. I worked too hard for this. Alan thought. He climbed into the pod. The leather seat within was surprisingly comfortable; he relaxed as he settled into it. Without warning, the pod closed above him. A screen built into the pod’s wall lit up and a keyboard and trak-ball slid in front of him from the side. Well, this is kinda neat, Alan thought as he logged into his terminal and started to work.

Alan noticed an odd flicker occasionally coming from the screen. It annoyed him at first, but it eventually became oddly comforting. He continued working and quickly discovered that he could do everything inside the pod, even attend meetings. He only left the pod to go to the bathroom and eat lunch.

Hours later, the clock on Alan’s computer screen indicated that it was time for the workday to end, but he had no desire to leave. Alan barely overheard his former coworkers leaving through the hallway and thought about his home and family for a moment, but the thought was quickly squelched by the messages that had been delivered to him by the hypnotic series of flashes that he had been subjected to on the screen.

YOU ARE PART OF THE COMPANY.
THERE IS NOTHING ELSE.
THERE IS WORK TO DO.

“There is work to do.” Alan softly said to nobody as he typed away. A message flashed on his screen: technicians would be coming in an hour to make him one with the pod so that he would never have to leave at all.

Alan smiled.

THE END.

This company definitely brings new meaning to the term ‘human resource,’ and this is one future that I hope never comes to pass. This has been Super-Short Storytime! Visit eduardo soliz dot com for more stories and free e-book downloads, and remember listeners, always keep that work-life balance!

300 Seconds, BUSINESS, Eduardo Soliz, JUST SAYING, PODCASTS

300 Seconds Episode #97 – “Job Search Blues: Job Fairs”

Listen to the episode here!

Leave the real world behind for a few minutes by listening to “Super-Short Storytime” at EduardoSoliz.com/podcasts or find it on your favorite podcast app. And now, on with the show…

You are listening to ‘300 Seconds with Eduardo Soliz,’ and this is episode number 97, “Job Search Blues: Job Fairs,” so let the 300 Seconds begin!

I spent the last episode talking about what a big pain in the posterior looking for and applying for a job online can be. Fortunately, there is a place where you can go to shake hands, speak to a real person, and get that personal touch. The job fair, which is in itself a different level of hell.

I should start out by saying that my experiences are colored by the fact that I am looking for a job in Information Technology, and in general, job fairs tend to suck for IT jobs. At a small job fair, I’ll consider myself lucky if just ONE of the businesses is looking for any sort of IT position. If more than one company at a job fair is looking for a technical support guy or a programmer, I’m thinking that I need to buy a lottery ticket because it’s my lucky day.

Unfortunately, when companies do drag their IT guys out of the basement and put them in front of people, they get to experience how socially inept they can be. I’ve had multiple awkward moments at job fairs with IT people, possibly because I’ve been told by people I’ve worked with that I sometimes come off as intimidating.

One person refused to look me in the eye after I let him know what I thought of their pay rates. Another one froze up after I handed my resume to him and introduced myself. So yeah, my people skills might use a little fine-tuning.

And then there are those instances when the IT guys can’t be dragged out of the basement and so I get to spend a few minutes trying to talk shop to a HR gal or a supervisor that has no earthly idea what I’m saying. Those conversations often end with the company representative telling me to go to their website and apply there…which completely defeats the point of the job fair.

I also love it when I walk up to a company’s table and the representative just starts blabbing away about their wonderful company and how wonderful it would be to work for them and how much they love it there and blah blah blah. After their delightful speech, when I’m finally able to get a word in, I let them know that I’m looking for a computer job. At that point, the air gets completely sucked out of the room when they sheepishly say: “Oh. We aren’t hiring for computer people.” So maybe you should ask me what kind of job I’m looking for before you give me the sales pitch, guys, I’m just saying.

Job fairs are a good idea in general, but for folks looking to hire computer professionals, they don’t seem to work as well as they should. Or maybe it’s just me. It definitely wouldn’t be the first time!

This has been 300 Seconds, the next episode will be posted after I register for the next job fair. I am Eduardo Soliz. For more podcasts, and short fiction, and my blog, visit EduardoSoliz.com and thank you for listening!

300 Seconds, BUSINESS, Eduardo Soliz, JUST SAYING, PODCASTS

300 Seconds Episode #96 – “Job Search Blues: The Internet”

Listen to the episode here!

A quick note before I begin: This episode was written prior to my being hired at my current job. And now, on with the show:

This is ‘300 Seconds with Eduardo Soliz,’ and this is episode number 96, “Job Search Blues: Job Hunting on the Internet,” so let the 300 Seconds begin!

Complaining about one’s job is practically an American tradition, and I am certainly more than happy to let anyone within earshot know how I feel about my nine-to-five. I am currently in between jobs, and since I don’t have a job to complain about at the moment, I am going to spend the next few episodes complaining instead, about the delightful process of finding a job in this here 21st Century.

On the surface, looking for a job should be a breeze these days. Instead of flipping through want ads in the newspaper, we now have an overabundance of job websites out there that will be more than happy to take your resume and shoot it away to the four corners of the Earth. Instead of driving to an office and leaving a resume at the HR department, each company now has their own website that is more than likely is run by someone like Taleo or workday. Hooray for progress.

Monster.com, indeed.com, careerbuilder.com, dice.com…to see their advertisements, you would think that they all have the job of your dreams waiting for you. Just set up your account, upload your resume, and the job of your dreams will soon be yours!

As someone once famously said: Don’t believe the hype.

On paper, a job board is a Good Thing: It’s a place where, thanks to the Power Of The Internet, you can now search for an exact job title with an exact salary, within an exact number of miles from our home and find exactly what you’re looking for…maybe. I’ve done some programming, so I do know how dicey sorting through a database can be, but there’s gotta be SOMETHING in these algorithms that says: “Hey, this person has a Bachelor of Science degree in Computer Science and over a decade of IT experience: Maybe they aren’t terribly interested in construction jobs.” Or how when I look for ‘technical support’ jobs, I get job listings for pharmacy technicians and veterinary technicians. Forget “artificial intelligence,” we need “artificial common sense.”

Since the job boards kinda suck, instead you decide to skip the middleman and visit the website of a company that you would like to work for. If you’re lucky, there will be a link that says “Careers” on the home page that takes you directly to a page with a link that takes you to the job listings. If you aren’t lucky, you to see get a webpage full of stock photos of happy people that probably don’t work at the company at all. This page will list all of the departments, the cities, the benefits, the descriptions of jobs and maybe one or two testimonials from real employees. Also: Real attractive employees, companies don’t want you to think they hire ugly people. You will then spend at least a minute trying to a link to the actual jobs.

Once you find the specific job that you are looking for, the fun part begins: The Application. Step one is always straightforward: Your personal information. Cool. Step two: Upload your resume. Okay. Now type in your work history, that is, all the information that is on your resume. Yeah. Even though you’ve just sent them an electronic copy of your resume, they want to you hand-type all of that same information into their system. But that’s not the worst part. The worst part is that larger employers don’t have their own job sites, instead they use a third party like Taleo or Workday, and they both SUCK. They suck because if you apply to multiple companies that use one of those third party sites, you get to re-type in the same information FOR EACH FUCKING COMPANY. At this point in my career I have probabl about a dozen Taleo profiles and a half-dozen for Workday. How hard would it be for those guys to let me enter my profile ONCE and just re-submit it to different companies? I’m just sayin.

Of course, after you have checked every box, selected every option, filled out every field, and clicked ‘Submit,’ then there’s the waiting. And along those lines, this is the end of the epsode

This has been 300 Seconds, the next episode will be posted after I type in eighteen years of job experience into an application website…again . I am Eduardo Soliz, if you’d like to hear more 300 seconds subscribe via your favorite podcatcher and check out my website at Eduardo Soliz dot com for more. Thank you for listening!

BUSINESS, JUST SAYING, RANDOMIZER9.COM, WORK

The Shelf

Author’s note: This was posted to LinkedIn a few years ago.

We have shelves in our bathrooms at the office above the sinks. Crazy it sounds, those shelves are a great analogy for what is wrong at the company I work for.

Our office bathrooms didn’t always have shelves, mind you. Some manager or facilities person a few years ago decided: ‘It would be nice if we had shelves in the bathroom so people can place things there while they take care of their business.’ It’s a good idea, so a shelf was installed. Huzzah!

Things went well for a few months, then one day I noticed the shelf was starting to lean forward slightly, as if it were coming off from the wall. Uh-oh. I stopped using it because I didn’t want my coffee mug to fall into the sink when the shelf finally gave way.

It eventually did break, and for about a week we were once again shelf-less. It was re-installed and life was good again, but after a few more months, it started to lean forward and fell off the wall again.

While I have managed some minor home repairs myself, I’m not going to claim to be Tim the Tool-Man. If I shelf I installed gave way, then okay, fine, maybe I did something wrong or overlooked something that a professional would know to do from experience. How was it that our professional facilities people couldn’t install a simple shelf? A few months later, after we remodeled our building, I got my answer…

There are three brackets holding the shelf in place. Each bracket should have two screws, but for whatever bone-headed reason, only one gets put in. Why? Was the facilities guy in a hurry? Are screws that expensive? My best guess is that the guy figured one screw is ‘good enough.’

Whatever the reason, the job wasn’t done right the first time, and the shelf inevitably has to be repaired. Surely the guy learns that ‘gee, maybe I should do the job right this time and use two screws so this doesn’t happen again.’

Nope! He makes the same mistake again, and as you can see by the picture above (different shelf but you get the idea) he’ll be eventually repairing it again. Even then, the damage has been done and he’ll likely continue ad infinitum.

This is a perfect analogy for how my company does things:

Get a good idea and implement it.
Don’t make the product the right way the first time, but make it ‘good enough.’
Attempt to fix problems after customers complain of issues.
The fixes are also ‘good enough.’
Everything is fine for a while, but the problems inevitably return and the damage has been done in loss of customer confidence and goodwill.
Go back to step 3 and repeat.

So yeah, that’s the way things work (or rather, don’t work) at my office.

I’m just wondering what the facilities guy is going to do when he runs out of wall space. He should have plenty of screws, at least.

BUSINESS, TECH, TECH SUPPORT, WORK

Contract-to-Fire

work I recently started a new position; my first-ever contract job. At the beginning, I was enthusiastic about coming in and doing a good job. I noticed a few deficiencies off the bat and made some recommendations for improvements in a group e-mail to everyone in the department. My intention was to avoid some of the large issues that had plagued previous workplaces and improve our processes, because to be frank, there were none.

My recommendations were shrugged off with a big fat ‘MEH’ by everyone. I don’t know if it was due to my relative inexperience at the workplace, or the arrogance of leadership, but for whatever the reason, the end result was that nothing happened, and the glaring issues remained.

I was miffed (but not completely surprised) by the lack of response. I imagined that the thought process went something along the lines of: “Why should we listen to this new guy? He doesn’t know how we do things here.“

My first thought was that I needed to change my approach and need address my manager directly instead of broadcasting to the group in the hope that we could come to a consensus. My second thought became a lot more compelling the more it bounced around in my head:

“Why should I care?”

I should begin by mentioning that the position I was hired into has a nearly zero chance of becoming permanent. Folks come here, they work for a year or two, and then they’re gone. Because of that, I have nearly zero investment in this company. Indeed, one of the issues that I wanted to address was knowledge management; if you’re going to have a revolving door of people coming in and out of a department, you might want to have a good documentation process in place so that not all of a person’s expertise walks out the door when their time inevitably comes.

Ultimately, I let it go. I had said my peace, and if the Powers That Be decided to ignore it, then why should I make a fuss? Obviously they know what they’re doing. There’s also no sense in wasting my time with people that have no intention of listening to me.

The unfortunate truth is that a contract worker will never be completely engaged in the future of the company they work at, especially if they have no visible road to bigger and better things.

I’ve since kept my mouth shut about any new issues that I’ve noticed and given up any hope of things improving. It doesn’t make any sense to fight the current, instead I’ll just keep surfing the wave of incompetence until my contract is up.

Besides, why should I be fully invested in the company’s problems when the company isn’t fully invested in me?

BUSINESS, CARS, JUST SAYING, TECH SUPPORT, WORK

The Difference…

work Over the last week, my Honda CR-V (aka The Excelsior) had been starting up just a little more sluggishly with each trip. Eventually, it got to the point where it just barely started, but as is human nature, I figured that it would last just long enough to get to get the battery looked at.

Of course, I waited one trip too many and eventually it didn’t start at all one night. Click-click-click-click-click was all I heard.

After getting a jump-start from a neighbor (always have cables in your vehicle, folks) I went to the auto parts store where I had replaced the original battery a few years prior. I had a strong suspicion that the battery was dead, but when the gentleman asked if I would like to have it tested, it placed just enough doubt in my mind to make me think that might not be the case. I didn’t want it to be something else, because as far as car repairs go, replacing a battery is on the fairly inexpensive scale, and it can be done by one’s self, assuming the vehicle can be taken to a good battery or vice-versa.

The gentleman grabbed a tester and followed me out to my noble (if not currently unreliable) steed. I popped the hood and proceeded to let the gentleman do his job. He attached the clips to the battery terminals and proceeded to push some buttons on the device. After a few moments he told me the battery was good and asked if I wanted him to test other ‘start the car’ parts. I said yes, and he asked me to start the vehicle. I made a crack about ‘I hope it starts,’ but much to my surprise, it started with no hesitation. A few moments and button presses later, the man told me that the alternator and starter were probably okay, too. I thanked him for his time and went on my merry (if slightly worried) way to the grocery store, where the car started again without issue. What the heck was wrong with my car?

As folks are oft to do these days, I went onto social media to share my ambivalence over the situation. Friends offered advice and their own tales of automotive experiences, both good and bad. One friend mentioned that a similar problem had been caused by loose terminal connectors. This idea sounded intriguing to me, as I had recalled my interior lights flashing during the process of having it jumped, and so I resolved to investigate them come the morning. I didn’t park the Excelsior in the garage because I had a feeling I was going to need another jump-start.

The next morning, I hopped into my trusty steed to go have some breakfast and was greeted by the clicking noise again. No big deal, it’s the terminals, right? Wrong. Nothing was loose and there was no corrosion to be found. It has to be the battery, I thought, but what the guy last night told me it was good. I frumped for a while as I searched for nearby mechanics and groused over the pile of money I anticipated I was going to have to spend.

Finally, I decided to get a second opinion.

I got a jump-start from a different neighbor, and observed that both times we had to let my vehicle sit for a while and charge up. The thought of it has to be the battery kept bouncing in my head as I drove to a different auto parts store. I walked inside and asked to have my battery checked. This time around, the tech got a frumpy look on her face when she saw my terminals. The connectors to the Excelsior’s battery have these plastic covers that were getting in the way of the clips, meaning she could only reliably attach the clips to the screws that kept the connectors attached. “I don’t like taking a reading from the screws, the reading is sometimes wrong,” She said. The tech did her best to adjust the tester clip, but was not completely satisfied with the result: “I’m not getting a good reading, can you take the battery out?” She asked.

I said sure, and proceeded to do so, with the tools I keep inside the vehicle. I also had to borrow a pair of pliers, but eventually dislodged the battery and took it inside the store. The tech did her thing, and sure enough, the battery was bad. Fortunately, I had purchased the ‘three-year replacement’ battery the last time and I received a new one free of charge. I installed it myself, which was only fair since I had taken the old one out, and now my trusty steed is trusty once again.

I figured that it would be a good idea to let the tech know about my experience the night before. We both agreed that the other guy just didn’t know about the screws providing unreliable readings.

And thus we have the difference between somebody who only knows how to follow instructions, and somebody that actually knows what they are doing because they have learned how things really work.

Whether they are fixing cars or computers, a good tech will have more in-depth knowledge about the things that they repair than someone who is only taught how to fix things or is working off a script. When the ‘usual steps’ don’t work, a good tech can think things though and improvise to find a solution. A bad tech only knows how to follow instructions, and when those instructions don’t do the job, they’re stuck, and so are you.

BUSINESS, CARS, JUST SAYING, list, WORK

37 Things I Noticed After Having a Fender-Bender

My trusty CR-V (the “Excelsior,” because I name my cars after spaceships) recently got dinged in the back. The damage isn’t too terrible but it’s in a lousy spot. Thus, I had to deal with my insurance company (Progressive) and rent a car. Along the way, I noticed a few things:

#5. *Angry Bear Noises*

The lady that hit me seemed to be pretty impatient while I got Progressive on the phone. MAYBE YOU SHOULDN’T CAUSE AN ACCIDENT IF YOU’RE IN A HURRY, LADY.
I didn’t even think about calling the police. This was a low speed accident and not worth their time.
She eventually gave me her info and drove off in a huff because “I have kids in the car.” I don’t know about y’all but I tend to drive extra-careful whenever I have passengers…just saying.
Insurance company Ding #1: To be fair, I was getting impatient with Progressive too. Pick up the phone, guys!
It wasn’t a bad dent, but in just the right spot for water to get into the hatch.
I’ll get a call back in 24 hours. Cool.
Ding #2: The claims rep was supposed to call me ‘within 24 hours.’ 2 days later and still no call.
I posted an angry tweet about that lack of communication and got a response within a few hours. Modern times and all that.
Lady’s insurance is taking full responsibility (as well they should) Woo-hoo!
Stuffed a plastic bag into the hole to keep water out. Lucky it hasn’t been raining lately.
I was initially going to pick a shop to take it, but decided to punt and the insurance guys handle it. I have other things to worry about.
Ding #3: The last time this happened, I got to pick a rental. This go-round they threw me into a Toyota Corolla.
I got everything I needed from the CR-V…except for the garage door opener. >.<
The heck with giving me both car keys on a key ring that I can’t remove them from?
It’s a little bit of an adjustment going from a small SUV to a car, but I’m (mostly) handling it. Lucky for me I don’t have any long trips coming up.
When did car air conditioners get so complicated?
15. Me in the rental

This is a newer vehicle, yet the backup camera looks terrible compared to my 2012 CR-V.
Having an in-car touch screen does not work very well. At the risk of getting technical: The user interface is poop.
Ding #4: The repair guy was supposed to call me ‘tomorrow’ Didn’t happen.
Yeah, it’s probably time to start looking for a new insurance company.
Thing I miss most about my CR-V? Legroom.
I’ve given up on getting any calls from my insurance company at this point, just going to check their website every so often.
If you are going to tell somebody you are going to call them and you don’t, that is rude and unprofessional.
Unless you’re a recruiter, then it’s par for the course. (obligatory job-related item)
Auto headlights should NEVER turn on the high beams…just sayin’
Had a funny moment when it rained and I tried to turn on the rear wiper that wasn’t there.
Also, the ‘beep’ it makes when I turn on the alarm can barely be heard.
The day before the repair is due to be completed, the app says “2 days left until repaired.” Huh?
(Finally) Got a call that afternoon saying it will be ready when scheduled, woo-hoo!
4pm and the app now says ‘Repairs complete.’ Maybe I’ll get lucky and get my ride back a day early?’
Ding #5: Of course they call me 15 minutes before they close (and I’m already at home from work) to schedule the pickup the next day, grr.
Since the lady’s insurance is taking full responsibility, this little adventure isn’t going to cost me any money, just a little time and aggravation.
I also got a blog post out of the deal, too 😀
35. Looking good!
Ding #6: Scheduled the appointment for 1230, get there at 1231 and I have to wait 😛
Holy cats, the Excelsior looks good when it’s cleaned up.
Feels good to be in my own vehicle again. I had to re-learn some habits, like having cruise control settings on my steering wheel instead of on a stick thingie.
Time to shop for new car insurance!

Books, BUSINESS, Con Fluff 1, Con Fluff 2, CREATIVE, Eduardo Soliz, FURRY, Nine to Five Lives, One Sheet Stories, self publishing, Seven Super-Short Sci-Fi Stories, TECH

Adventures in Self-Publishing : Cover Stories

It’ll do

I am not a visual person by any stretch of the imagination.

When I was in college studying computer science back in the 90’s, people would occasionally ask me if I could make websites for them. The conversation would go something like this:

Person: “Can you make a website for me?”
Me: “Yeah, I can code one, but it’s going to look like a computer guy made it.”
“What do you mean?”
“It’s going to look terrible.”
So yeah, I didn’t make any websites.

Given that I’m self-aware of my lack of design sense, I don’t know what possessed me to make my own book covers when I started self-publishing short story collections. It comes even more perplexing considering that I knew artists that could do quality artwork. Ego may have had something to do with it; the notion of doing everything on my own. Maybe I didn’t want to pay for art at the time. Whatever the reason, I figured some text on a solid color background would be good enough. I did three covers like that, and it honestly only worked for The Rules of Tech Support.

A picture! Yay!

I like to think I made the most of my limited skills with my Nine to Five Lives ‘clock face,’ but that may have been too clever for its own good considering its low sales (it’s free now!).

At that point I figured it was time to get some actual artwork done. My friend Damon Cone provided some artwork for Con Fluff 1, which I used to make a faux ‘con badge.’ I thought about making similar ones as promotional items for the book. That never happened, but it remains an interesting idea for future use. The character on the cover is me, which seems a little conceited, but at the same time, why the heck not?

SO PRETTY

I commissioned an artist friend who goes by Padunk for Con Fluff 2 and she knocked it out of the park. She was also kind enough to put the title text on the artwork, which made it look really nice. Future volumes have also featured artwork, and with the exception of The Rules of Tech Support, most of my collections featuring my early awful covers have been put off-sale, though you can still see them here.

While I have been happy with all of the artwork (Faeries, Fantasies, and Furries is another favorite) there are a few that need a do-over: As the first book in the series, I don’t want to pull Seven Super-Short Sci-Fi Stories, but it does need a facelift. Funny Animals, Funny People kind-of works, but I have a better concept in mind I’d like to see for it. I took the easy way out with Fuzzy Words by plastering a picture into the middle of a (wait for it) solid colored background.

I’ve since commissioned new cover art for the printed version of Fuzzy Words from an artist named TinyBunner. After spending the day arguing with CreateSpace I think everything is ready to go for printed copies. I’m very excited at the prospect of having an actual printed book, but that’s a post for another day.

Android, Apple, BUSINESS, list, TECH, Uncategorized

35 Things I Noticed After Upgrading to iOS 11 and an iPhone SE

iOS 11 just happened to drop on the same day I bought a new 32 GB iPhone SE in order to replace my 16 GB iPhone 6 and switch over to a prepaid plan. The 6 was running low on storage space and the SE was on sale, so why the heck not upgrade my OS and my phone on the same day!

21753029_10212526831620835_4532158745605616241_o

#19-YUUUGE!

First things first: Upgrade my iPhone 6 to iOS 11. Maybe I can use that as a selling point after I move to the SE.
I can’t help but cackle at glee at how many problems iOS 11 is likely causing for customers at my old job. Jerks.
Yes, I am saying my former customers and my former employer are jerks.
Free space on 16GB iPhone 6 before upgrade: 900 MB. Free space after: 4.9 GB. WTF?
When I hit the Wireless or Bluetooth buttons in the Control Center I expect them TO TURN OFF, not just disconnect. No bueno. iOS!
Is a Location on/off button in the Control Center too much to ask for? Android has had one in their Notification Area for years. Don’t you want to be cool like Android, iOS?
On a related note, the fact that Apple constantly wants to know where you are is mildly creepy.
Why would I want to turn off the cellular part by itself? Isn’t that what Airplane Mode is for?
The “Do Not Disturb While Driving” thing is pretty cool.
The Pebble smartwatch app is still standing; it’ll be a sad day when it or my watch stops working. Stupid FitBit.
From the ‘what took Apple so long’ department: Files. Yeah.
Only four app updates to install…so far!
All in all, iOS 11 is pretty nice, with a few annoyances I can live with. On to the new phone!
Why not Android? Let’s see: For $200 I can get a questionable phone with a lousy camera and maybe one OS update or a really good phone with an awesome camera that will get updates for a few years.
Despite the smaller screen, I consider the SE an upgrade. Better CPU, twice the storage, and a better camera.
Yeah, yeah. I shouldn’t have bought the 16GB model two years ago, but here we are.
The SE is small enough to fit in my pocket and not be constantly clipped to my belt looking like it’s there for something important.
I’m sort-of trying to not be tied to my phone so much. I don’t know how successful I’ll be, but I’m trying!
Funny how my old phone is nearly as big as the box my new one came in.
Shopping for a case was a little annoying because the iPhone SE section at Ye Olde Electronics Store was cleaned out. It must have been one heck of a sale, or maybe the SE has become the ‘poor man’s iPhone.’
Found an OtterBox case on the cheap at Wally Martinez (Wal-Mart) so maybe there’s something to that.
Yay, another set of EarPods and Apple stickers I’ll never use.
I can never put screen protectors on right.
Out with the old, in with the small!
The gal at the activation line has an interesting accent. I wonder if she’s in the Philippines…FOR NO PARTICULAR REASON.
Accidentally hung up on her once during the activation process. Oops.
Apparently the dweebie at the Best Buy warehouse didn’t scan my new phone so it wasn’t technically ‘purchased.’ That led to WHY IS IT NOT WORKING ANYMORE ten minutes after activating it, which led to another phone call to Whereveritis-istan.
Realization: I’m going to have to be super-careful to not drop this thing in the toilet.
It took me a half day before I realized I hadn’t set up my ringtone.
Apple productivity apps are useless to me without OneDrive support. Buh-bye.
Garage Band, iMovie and TV apps on a 4-inch screen? Um, no. Gone.
Free space: 22 GB That’s more like it!
What the hell is up with not letting me use my phone as a hotspot, cellular prepaid people? Crazy idea: If people use up all their data tethering, THEY HAVE TO BUY MORE DATA WHICH MEANS YOU MAKE MORE MONEY. Idiots.
Tethering seems to work just fine via USB, so neener-neener, prepaid cell phone weenies!
Going to take a little adjusting to having a smaller phone, but I think the SE is going to work. Hopefully my new provider works out, too!
I’m just waiting for that one friend (you know who you are) to see my new SE and say “OH MY GOD, IT’S A BABY PHONE!”

Eduardo Soliz

IT Guy, short story author, podcaster, and furry!

Category Archives: BUSINESS

300 Seconds Episode #98: “Job Search Blues- Recruiters and Staffing Agencies”